I love all things Mel Robbins; her podcast, her books, and now her protein company. She is the world renowned author of the Let Them Theory. I listened to this over a year ago and have gifted this audio to at least five different people. Essentially this theory states people are going to say and do things that you like or dislike, either way- Let them! And then the second and important part is “Let Me”… what action are you going to do, since that is all you actually can control.
I have embraced this idea full force. I try my hardest to not allow the actions of other’s dictate how I feel or what I am going to do. There is incredible control in that. We cannot determine what someone else is going to do, think, or act, but we can only determine what WE are going to do, think, or act.
Recently, I was dealing with a situation that just wasn’t fair. What I said was miscommunicated to another, important person to me and feelings were hurt. I felt horrible and the person didn’t believe that I didn’t intend to harm her. Regardless of what I could do or say, I needed to let her have her feelings about the situation and hope she would eventually come around. At the same time, it was up to me to control how I would respond. What was I going to do about the situation? I decided the best thing was to state my “case” and simply move on. I do not have superpowers to change people’s minds or make them believe me. I need to keep that in mind and use it to make decisions about my own behavior.
Do I enjoy hurting people? Not at all, but it’s something that unfortunately happens from time to time. I can only change my own behavior to prevent it from happening in the future. I have learned who I can trust with information and who I cannot. It is a mistake I will not make again.
It’s important to see both sides of this theory. If you do only half, you will barely get half the results. I want to get the most “bang for my buck!” so I am choosing to change my own behavior and let others chose their own behaviors too. It’s so simple in theory and yet so difficult in practice.
I have also found that applying this theory gives me something to do with my anxiety. Instead of focusing on what I can’t change and overthinking the what-ifs, I can focus on what I am going to do. I can take action with myself. This means that not only am I moving forward, but I am not taking the anxiety and what-if with me!
What obstacles are you facing right now that could improve by applying these ideas?
How do we keep these thoughts in the front of our minds so that they can be applied on a regular basis?
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