Fiercely Independent Pam

Tag: Don’t Let the Hard Days Win!

  • Chronic Illness and Missing Out on the Good Things!

    Chronic Illness and Missing Out on the Good Things!

    So, my medical issues caught up with my social life, again… Chronic illness means that sometimes, often, you miss out on great things.

    Today is my niece’s high school graduation party. The one she planned herself and I am so proud of the young adult she is becoming. She has her mind focused, Jesus in her heart, and BIG plans for the future. She is one of the big reasons I live here, I want to be part of their lives and watch them grow.

    Over the last week, I was hospitalized for six days. I’m dealing with some major GI issues and still on a pretty restrictive diet. That coupled with the heat/humidity is a recipe for disaster and the last thing I would want to do is take attention away from her on the big day by needing medical attention. All of this to say, I will be staying home and not attending.

    Being a grown-up means making decisions that are in your best interest as well as the best interest of those you care about. Its not about what is the most fun or doing what you want all the time and that tends to be one of the hardest pills to swallow with chronic illness. I can deal with the procedures, doctor appointments, medicine’s side effects, and more, but missing out on the BIG things is just so hard.

    I know that my niece and the rest of the family understands- they are great about it, but it doesn’t make my disappointment any easier. I will find another way to celebrate my niece (in air-conditioning)and life will move along. I will eventually just chalk this up to my life right now and realize that making the right choice is always the better choice.

    I hate sounding so “down” and I really am not. I just think it’s important to point out that everything isn’t always sunshine and rainbows! Chronic illness is a hard thing to battle every moment. You are juggling so many different things and every day, or even every hour is different. You just never know what is going to happen. So, my fellow chronic illness fighters- keep the faith and good fight. For my family and friends- thank you for your understanding and knowing its not about what I want to do.

  • The “Let Them” Theory In Practice… Not As Easy As It Seems!

    I love all things Mel Robbins; her podcast, her books, and now her protein company. She is the world renowned author of the Let Them Theory. I listened to this over a year ago and have gifted this audio to at least five different people. Essentially this theory states people are going to say and do things that you like or dislike, either way- Let them! And then the second and important part is “Let Me”… what action are you going to do, since that is all you actually can control.

    I have embraced this idea full force. I try my hardest to not allow the actions of other’s dictate how I feel or what I am going to do. There is incredible control in that. We cannot determine what someone else is going to do, think, or act, but we can only determine what WE are going to do, think, or act.

    Recently, I was dealing with a situation that just wasn’t fair. What I said was miscommunicated to another, important person to me and feelings were hurt. I felt horrible and the person didn’t believe that I didn’t intend to harm her. Regardless of what I could do or say, I needed to let her have her feelings about the situation and hope she would eventually come around. At the same time, it was up to me to control how I would respond. What was I going to do about the situation? I decided the best thing was to state my “case” and simply move on. I do not have superpowers to change people’s minds or make them believe me. I need to keep that in mind and use it to make decisions about my own behavior.

    Do I enjoy hurting people? Not at all, but it’s something that unfortunately happens from time to time. I can only change my own behavior to prevent it from happening in the future. I have learned who I can trust with information and who I cannot. It is a mistake I will not make again.

    It’s important to see both sides of this theory. If you do only half, you will barely get half the results. I want to get the most “bang for my buck!” so I am choosing to change my own behavior and let others chose their own behaviors too. It’s so simple in theory and yet so difficult in practice.

    I have also found that applying this theory gives me something to do with my anxiety. Instead of focusing on what I can’t change and overthinking the what-ifs, I can focus on what I am going to do. I can take action with myself. This means that not only am I moving forward, but I am not taking the anxiety and what-if with me!

    What obstacles are you facing right now that could improve by applying these ideas?

    How do we keep these thoughts in the front of our minds so that they can be applied on a regular basis?

  • My Hospital Room’s Floor Needed a Hug: Overnight Adventures!

    You really can’t make up what goes on in my world. In the wee hours of the morning, I got up to use the bathroom and washed my hands, all while using the provided walker. As I was on my way back to the bed, the floor jumped up for a hug and I crash landed on my butt and hip area. Once I came to (in actuality I passed out again), I scooted myself to be able to reach the call button on the bed.

    The next few minutes were quite a blur. A rapid response was called and lots of people came flooding into the room asking a billion questions. No, I don’t think I hit my head. Yes, my back hurts (on goes the collar). Yes, I need help getting up(be careful what you ask for, help comes in the roughest form possible usually.)No, we are not waiting for any guys to come, women power at work! Poof! I was back in my hospital bed and off the floor.

    I was then whisked away to the CT for a full body scan. Nothing major came up on the scan, so I guess that is a good thing. No new incidental findings either!

    Then I regained my composure and realized my left lower leg was not really working and felt heavy and weird. Called the nurse, got shipped to the neuroscience unit and here I lay with collar still on awaiting a fun trip to the MRI machine to scan my entire spine. That should be at least an hour in the tube! I am obviously not allowed out of bed at this time so using the bathroom is an adventure. As is keeping my pressure sore which was healing so well from getting worse and opening.

    Trying not to be scared about the numbness, thinking it’s related to the L1 compression fracture that I previously had. The neurosurgeon was in and concurs with the plan of the full MRI. This is going to be an expensive bill, thank goodness for good insurance. Hopefully the treatment will just be more time in the back brace.

    Thank goodness for my tribe, those people who are willing to help me when the going gets tough. My brother is picking up some stuff from my apartment like my back brace and my dear concierge friend is helping to pack up the stuff with my crazy list and locations of everything. Then, there are the friends and family that have called or texted. I truly appreciate my tribe and hope they know it. I just hope despite my limits, I am a helpful member of tribes for others too!

    I will try to do a video update once I get some results. Until then, please say a prayer that everything works itself out!