Well, I am back inside- not the big house but the hospital-Again! My blood pressure, which usually runs low is through the roof, I called an ambulance when it reached 250/100. Nothing cardiac going on, but still not able to figure out what is causing the high BP and chest pain. In the meantime, I was pulled off all my meds that could raise my blood pressure, mainly my steroids that I take for adrenal insufficiency. Being off of them is making me feel pretty crappy. That coupled with needing a foley catheter again and continued pain, has me searching for some positives.
I found hope in a great place- mainly what I am now describing as my “Tribe.” These are the people who together we help each other out and just make things happen. I could not survive without my tribe. My new friends at my community who, despite their own disabilities come visit me with cookies in hand and are available to hear me vent without judgement. My tribe includes the caregivers and employees at my community who do amazing things like look after my plants, or bring me the medications I didn’t bring with me.
They are all there for me and I just hope that I am always there for them as well. I guess my biggest piece of advice on finding your tribe is to be open to help from anyone and everyone who is willing, you never know who is actually going to be there for you. Likewise, you need to show up for your tribe, be a friend, and most importantly listen to them!
It is equally important to consider and recognize those that are NOT in your tribe. Those that gaslight you into thinking that your symptoms aren’t real or blame you for your conditions and even those that try to offer advice sometimes. This is a hard pill to swallow as sometimes those that you have to recognize as not part of your tribe are the people you desperately want to be your biggest cheerleaders. People’s lives are busy and we need to recognize that. Often, just like not blaming a person for their chronic illness, we need to respect that life is messy and we cannot blame people for not being part of our tribe.
The bottom line is that it still hurts when someone can’t be there for you, or when you can’t be there for them. Relationships are messy and just because someone can’t be part of your tribe, doesn’t mean that you can’t like/love them. Our tribes change almost day by day, but relationships with friends and family always remain.
I am so thankful for my past tribes, and in a really special way, my current tribe. I hope and pray that I am a member of standing in other people’s tribe by giving and showing up for them. A cookie in hand goes a long way.
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