Fiercely Independent Pam

Tag: plant mom

  • Here We Go Again: If Only My Body Behaved Itself!

    So, this week was already filled with surgery, appointments, infusions, then I landed in the ER followed by an admission to the hospital! All in the exciting life and times of my body.

    Bright and early Monday morning, I was down at my home away from home, MUSC for a fistula gram. All went well, I got a good nap thanks to anesthesia and the fistula was “ballooned out” and back in working order. I may need follow up work on it, but for now its already looking better.

    All was going ok, but Tuesday brought a slew of issues later in the day. I was just feeling “off” I hate when I say that because I know it’s not really helpful. I often say things like “Something just isn’t right.” Nine out of ten times, something pops later on and it all makes sense. My vision was funky in my left eye and I had a top 10% headache. By 8 o’clock at night, I knew I better go get checked out. So to the ER I went!

    Then of course I heard the bad news that I was assigned a “hall bed”- the worse place to be with a tough headache and light sensitivity, but in the end is was worth it because the doctors admitted me right away and I landed in a room upstairs with little fanfare.

    Things went well, the neurologist was in bright and early and made some medication changes to see if they would help. I also was finally able to get some relief from the headaches. I did however start to notice that my blood pressure was quickly creeping up to a place I wasn’t comfortable with. When I asked the nurse, she dismissed it as anxiety- multiple times. I hate that! When I am anxious, I am aware and will say that I’m anxious, but when I am not and my blood pressure is increasing, please help me! So, by midnight, my blood pressure was in the 200/100’s and they finally treated it!

    Why can healthcare providers decide that they know what is going on more than a patient? I trust providers, but I also need them to trust me and my experiences. Either way I am just glad I made it home today, and despite needing to make follow up appointments, I can get back to living my life again!

    A picture of my raised flower bed with a bright red amaryllis blooming and other plants.
    A picture of my awesome raised flower bed!

  • Plant Mom: A Little of All Kinds!

    I am a self-proclaimed “Plant Mom” I started last year with a few cuttings from someone on Etsy. Then I ordered some succulents and larger plants. My cuttings have grown into full size plants and I really enjoy them.

    After sometime, it was warm enough to start finding plants for my outside patio. I also ordered a raised flower bed so I could be interactive with my plants. I got some hanging plants, as well as a few potted plants. Everything with a few exceptions did very well over last summer. I then brought inside everything that I could and left the rest to fend for themselves.

    I am happy to report that a lot of my plants that I left dormant outside came back. The plants I brought into my apartment did fairly well, with the exception of my lemon tree which might be a goner,

    I bought a few new plants to freshen up some planters and offer new colors and life to my existing plants, I am so appreciative of Instacart- I was able to get plants and potting soil from Home Depot without even leaving the house.

    So now I water and watch to make sure all my plants are happy and will grow. I enjoy spending time outside cleaning up dead ends and such. I look forward to some strawberries hopefully and that my lemon tree comes back to life!

  • Having a Tribe:Family, Friends, and Staff, Oh My!

    Well, I am back inside- not the big house but the hospital-Again! My blood pressure, which usually runs low is through the roof, I called an ambulance when it reached 250/100. Nothing cardiac going on, but still not able to figure out what is causing the high BP and chest pain. In the meantime, I was pulled off all my meds that could raise my blood pressure, mainly my steroids that I take for adrenal insufficiency. Being off of them is making me feel pretty crappy. That coupled with needing a foley catheter again and continued pain, has me searching for some positives.

    I found hope in a great place- mainly what I am now describing as my “Tribe.” These are the people who together we help each other out and just make things happen. I could not survive without my tribe. My new friends at my community who, despite their own disabilities come visit me with cookies in hand and are available to hear me vent without judgement. My tribe includes the caregivers and employees at my community who do amazing things like look after my plants, or bring me the medications I didn’t bring with me.

    They are all there for me and I just hope that I am always there for them as well. I guess my biggest piece of advice on finding your tribe is to be open to help from anyone and everyone who is willing, you never know who is actually going to be there for you. Likewise, you need to show up for your tribe, be a friend, and most importantly listen to them!

    It is equally important to consider and recognize those that are NOT in your tribe. Those that gaslight you into thinking that your symptoms aren’t real or blame you for your conditions and even those that try to offer advice sometimes. This is a hard pill to swallow as sometimes those that you have to recognize as not part of your tribe are the people you desperately want to be your biggest cheerleaders. People’s lives are busy and we need to recognize that. Often, just like not blaming a person for their chronic illness, we need to respect that life is messy and we cannot blame people for not being part of our tribe.

    The bottom line is that it still hurts when someone can’t be there for you, or when you can’t be there for them. Relationships are messy and just because someone can’t be part of your tribe, doesn’t mean that you can’t like/love them. Our tribes change almost day by day, but relationships with friends and family always remain.

    I am so thankful for my past tribes, and in a really special way, my current tribe. I hope and pray that I am a member of standing in other people’s tribe by giving and showing up for them. A cookie in hand goes a long way.