Fiercely Independent Pam

Category: Updates

  • Paying the Price of a Fun Time: How Chronic Illness Always Wins!

    Chronic illness’ worst feature is that it ALWAYS shows up! Somedays you think you have outsmarted it and you got away with something, but payback stinks! I had a super busy and rewarding week. Besides my awesome PAALS visit, I had doctor’s appointments, tech classes, and some family/friends time. Now I am “paying” for it! I hate this.

    For the last 2 1/2-3 weeks I’ve been dealing with some nasty GI issues. I am not quite sure what is going on, but having trouble keeping food down after I eat, regardless of what I eat and dealing with some major abdominal pain. So far we know my platelets are low and my liver enzymes are super high and increasing. Additionally, my spleen is also enlarged. CT hasn’t shown any blockages or anything surgical, which is good since all my major disposable organs are gone!

    I have been working with an awesome, old school type GI doctor who has ordered a huge outpatient workup, but scheduling these tests in a timely manner has been difficult. Yesterday, I drew a line in the sand and decided something had to give. The pain was making me miserable.

    So, I am back at the hospital, trying to find some answers while they help manage the pain and nausea. I would be lying if if didn’t admit that I am nervous that this might go the direction I was going in several years ago, when I ended up with a PEG tube for feeding. That continues to be one of the hardest medical journeys I have taken. I just keep reminding myself that this is most likely something different and that is not the path we are on.

    I am thankful they admitted me this time. I need some answers and some relief. For now, I am resting and trying to get a hold of this stupid pain.

    I’ll be in touch with updates!

  • Wet Noses In My Apartment: A Visit From PAALS- We are Getting Closer!

    Today was a BIG day! I moved forward two steps in my process to attain/befriend a service dog through PAALS. I continue to be SO impressed with PAALS and all they seek to accomplish. I waited a long time for this day to come and I am so excited to share my wonderful experience. My day didn’t start out that great, as I really struggled this morning to get going. My body is dragging and I know that is because of my recent GI issues but boy, did it take a lot to get going.

    Once I got myself ready, dressed, and took another nap, I headed over to the Food Lion grocery store that I usually shop at and met up with 2 great ladies from PAALS and a beautiful, kind, and sweet dog named Monahota. She was AMAZING! We traveled around the store where she (and I) were able to learn about using my power wheelchair, hands free leash, and giving cues. She was a quick learner and made me look good despite fumbling with the right words, or forgetting to pass her treats on the side and not in front of me. She seemed proud of her abilities and confident, which I loved! It’s important to note that Monahota was brought today for her skills, and while she could potentially be my eventual dog, a process exists to select the best dog for my needs.

    I shared some of my concerns/ troubles at the grocery store (mainly the stupid refrigerator doors that make my trips extra hard) and we brainstormed some ideas to make have a dog support my goals. Monahota was also eager to show me how she likes to pick up objects and be helpful. From the grocery store we walked back to my community and even crossed the major street, she continued to shine!

    Once we were all back in the community, we walked past the dining room full of residents who were eager to see Monahota and she was very aware that everyone was “checking her out!” We then went to my apartment where she was amazingly well behaved and stay in a “down” position for the most part of the visit. My little apartment fared well, but I need to find some space for a large crate. Good thing I have help coming!

    Pictures were taken of my apartment to help with training and to give the committee a better idea of where a dog would be living. The entire time we were moving about the apartment, dear Monahota, stayed in her down position and didn’t make a peep. That is going to take some time to get used to.

    After some time, the delegation from PAALS left and began their travels back to Columbia! The next steps include the committee meeting, fundraising, speed dating to find the best pairing, and then some intensive training. Patience is going to continue to be the name of the game as this process is going to continue to take time. I recently made a bracelet that simply reads, “God’s Timing” and that is exactly what it is all about!

    I am confident that things will work out as they are supposed to and when they are supposed to, but in the meantime, please feel free to say a few prayers that I can keep the faith in this time of waiting. I also know that Monahota is going to live an amazing life transforming a person’s whole being!

    Stay tuned for the next chapter!

  • Anxiously Waiting for Lots of Things!How Not to Go Crazy in the Meantime!

    Currently I am cooking on multiple burners- lots going on and all need my attention. I love being busy and have always found that I do better the busier I am. I am moving in lots of different directions and all are super exciting.

    Now that summertime is here, doctor’s appointments and medical stuff seems to be slowing down, which is always appreciated. I am dealing with some major GI issues and find myself having a hard time keeping food down. The GI doctor believes it may have something to do with my liver and has ordered numerous tests to look into this theory. Other than that, my appointments are finally slowing down.

    I have decided to apply for a job as a math tutor. I am not sure what will come of it and how long I will be able to keep it up, but money is tight and I need to do something. Plus there is an opportunity to get Medicaid faster if I have a job. I really need these benefits, especially the transportation allowances.

    Additionally, I am working up a business plan for Fiercely Independent Pam and have the wonderful guidance of someone who knows what she is doing. All of this is very exciting, even if I am in uncharted waters.

    Finally, Wednesday is my BIG day for my service dog. I will be welcoming a delegation from PAALS here in my community. They will be conducting a home visit/inspection as well as a community visit. The most exciting part is that they will be bringing a dog to help with these tasks. Having a dog visiting my apartment is a huge step forward in this process. I am super excited!

    So, how does my anxiety stay controlled through all of this? On a wing and a prayer! Quite literally!! I recently ordered a new bracelet that reads- “God’s Timing.” This will remind me that it is all in His name and timing, not my own. This also means believing that His timing is perfect and not to question it. My Bible in a Year podcast is helping a lot as well. It keeps me focused and is a great way to start the day each morning. I am working hard to bring the Rosary back into my prayer time as well.

    A small sticker or a service dog wearing a PAALS cape!