Fiercely Independent Pam

Category: Updates

  • Home Again: Finding My Way Back to Church! Alleluia!

    I am a self proclaimed “Cradle Catholic”, meaning I was raised in the faith and through discovery and reflection continue to practice the faith. I have had my share of “battles” with the Church, but I always find my way home. I love the traditions, sights, smells, and sounds. I love that no matter where you are, the Mass is familiar. All of this to say, after over three or four years, I found my way back to a physical Church for Mass this morning.

    Through the gift of volunteers, I have been able to receive Communion each week and join in prayers, but the actual physical act of attending Mass in a Catholic Church was not possible due to many different reasons including my health and its stability, as well as transportation needs. Again, with the help of volunteers, I found two women ready to help me with the transportation issue and I am so grateful for that.

    I was able to join in the recitation of the Rosary prior to Mass and it was the first time that I said the Rosary in a group setting since studying the Rosary using Ascension’s Rosary in a Year program. My level of understanding and devotion was much deeper than before the study. I spent this time focused on Our Lady and the gifts she has bestowed on me in the last few years.

    Then came the actual Mass, while not my favorite “flavor” of the Mass, it was amazing to be in a church with statues and art work to focus my attention on while participating in the familarness of the Mass. I was impressed by how much rote memory took over and I participated fully in the prayers. Of course the highest point was being able to receive Jesus with praise and thanksgiving.

    On a side note, I have to comment on the accessibility of the Church. Handicap entrances without any ramps or similar plus a purposeful planned handicap seating area made the experience pleasant and welcoming for sure. I hope that as my health improves, I will be able to stand more, but for the first time back, I didn’t want to cause any problems. Our churches have come a long way in the area of accessibility.

    Returning “home” is a big step in my quest for my “new normal.” I was missing visiting Jesus in His house. I didn’t realize how much I missed the rest of what comes with attending Mass in a church. The sights, smells, and bells, as it is said are comforting and give me fond memories of everywhere I have worshiped over my life. As for now, I have found my new home and can happily say I was pleasantly welcomed there!

    A large stained glass window at the front of St. Andrew's Church
  • Chronic Illness and Missing Out on the Good Things!

    Chronic Illness and Missing Out on the Good Things!

    So, my medical issues caught up with my social life, again… Chronic illness means that sometimes, often, you miss out on great things.

    Today is my niece’s high school graduation party. The one she planned herself and I am so proud of the young adult she is becoming. She has her mind focused, Jesus in her heart, and BIG plans for the future. She is one of the big reasons I live here, I want to be part of their lives and watch them grow.

    Over the last week, I was hospitalized for six days. I’m dealing with some major GI issues and still on a pretty restrictive diet. That coupled with the heat/humidity is a recipe for disaster and the last thing I would want to do is take attention away from her on the big day by needing medical attention. All of this to say, I will be staying home and not attending.

    Being a grown-up means making decisions that are in your best interest as well as the best interest of those you care about. Its not about what is the most fun or doing what you want all the time and that tends to be one of the hardest pills to swallow with chronic illness. I can deal with the procedures, doctor appointments, medicine’s side effects, and more, but missing out on the BIG things is just so hard.

    I know that my niece and the rest of the family understands- they are great about it, but it doesn’t make my disappointment any easier. I will find another way to celebrate my niece (in air-conditioning)and life will move along. I will eventually just chalk this up to my life right now and realize that making the right choice is always the better choice.

    I hate sounding so “down” and I really am not. I just think it’s important to point out that everything isn’t always sunshine and rainbows! Chronic illness is a hard thing to battle every moment. You are juggling so many different things and every day, or even every hour is different. You just never know what is going to happen. So, my fellow chronic illness fighters- keep the faith and good fight. For my family and friends- thank you for your understanding and knowing its not about what I want to do.

  • The “Let Them” Theory In Practice… Not As Easy As It Seems!

    I love all things Mel Robbins; her podcast, her books, and now her protein company. She is the world renowned author of the Let Them Theory. I listened to this over a year ago and have gifted this audio to at least five different people. Essentially this theory states people are going to say and do things that you like or dislike, either way- Let them! And then the second and important part is “Let Me”… what action are you going to do, since that is all you actually can control.

    I have embraced this idea full force. I try my hardest to not allow the actions of other’s dictate how I feel or what I am going to do. There is incredible control in that. We cannot determine what someone else is going to do, think, or act, but we can only determine what WE are going to do, think, or act.

    Recently, I was dealing with a situation that just wasn’t fair. What I said was miscommunicated to another, important person to me and feelings were hurt. I felt horrible and the person didn’t believe that I didn’t intend to harm her. Regardless of what I could do or say, I needed to let her have her feelings about the situation and hope she would eventually come around. At the same time, it was up to me to control how I would respond. What was I going to do about the situation? I decided the best thing was to state my “case” and simply move on. I do not have superpowers to change people’s minds or make them believe me. I need to keep that in mind and use it to make decisions about my own behavior.

    Do I enjoy hurting people? Not at all, but it’s something that unfortunately happens from time to time. I can only change my own behavior to prevent it from happening in the future. I have learned who I can trust with information and who I cannot. It is a mistake I will not make again.

    It’s important to see both sides of this theory. If you do only half, you will barely get half the results. I want to get the most “bang for my buck!” so I am choosing to change my own behavior and let others chose their own behaviors too. It’s so simple in theory and yet so difficult in practice.

    I have also found that applying this theory gives me something to do with my anxiety. Instead of focusing on what I can’t change and overthinking the what-ifs, I can focus on what I am going to do. I can take action with myself. This means that not only am I moving forward, but I am not taking the anxiety and what-if with me!

    What obstacles are you facing right now that could improve by applying these ideas?

    How do we keep these thoughts in the front of our minds so that they can be applied on a regular basis?