Fiercely Independent Pam

Category: Memories

  • Accessibility Rocks: Being a Tourist in Your Own Town!

    I’m catching up after an amazing weekend with a friend from out of town. There is nothing that can do as much good as spending time with a friend- genuine, quality time listening to each other, sharing stories over coffee and yummy food. This is true soul food. The only thing that is better than friend time, is baking in the glory of the sun at the ocean. And when you combine the friendship and ocean, something magical happens- especially if accessibility needs are met.

    One of my favorite things to do is to play tourist in my own town. Living in a tourist destination makes this super easy to do. Myrtle Beach is pretty accessible, but it can still be difficult to navigate in a wheelchair at times. This past weekend, we cruised around town and took in the sites of old Myrtle Beach as well as enjoying some quality meals. We rode the giant SkyWheel, took the tourist pictures (and bought them), and even did some surf shop shopping. The greatest accomplishment of this past weekend, was making it to the ocean. Not just looking at the incredible views that the Atlantic Ocean gives us, but getting down on the firm sand and feeling the warm of the sun-kissed sand in between my toes.

    This feat was accomplished because we were able to “rent” a beach wheelchair at the awesome state park. The beach wheelchair has giant balloon tires that allow it to move smoothly over the dunes and sand. The park also rents power beach wheelchairs during the season. These rentals are free but on a first come, first serve basis. I look forward to trying out the power beach wheelchair come Spring.

    Accessibility is about making things fair for everyone. Universal design helps everyone. The Mobi mat that covered the sand over the dunes- parents with wagons or strollers benefit using these too. The ramp to get to the beach access without steps helps the senior citizens who want to see the ocean as well.

    It’s beyond time to make universal design the norm. Accessibility should not be the outlier in a park. Why can’t all dune cross-overs have a mobi mat and not stairs? It’s not a budget issue, as building stairs is an expensive process too. Accessibility shouldn’t cost anything extra for the user who requires it. That is, in this example, the beach wheelchairs are free for use and included in the admission/parking cost. Being disabled is expensive enough and lonely enough, we shouldn’t have to pay extra or put our loved ones out to be able to access places.

    Whenever I have someone in town or helping me navigate the world through my disability, I realize it’s an opportunity to demonstrate the world from my view. That is, for example, what it feels like to have to use the ramp in the back of the building instead of the front door. Or to have someone talk to you without making eye contact or to be stared at. It’s a chance to see how people do not move out of the way when you are traveling in a wheelchair or how the stupid end-cap displays in a store are a giant nuisance. It’s a lightbulb moment that is otherwise lost.

  • Do Your “Fancy” Clothes Hold Memories?

    Recently, I emptied a wardrobe box from my storage unit. I was hoping to find a treasure chest of clothes that would fit my current size, but instead I found a box full of memories in the form of “fancy” clothes. To be fair, I packed this box over eight years ago, so I really couldn’t remember what was in it. As I opened each outfit, mostly dresses for “fancy” outings or events, I recalled memories attached to each item.

    In my past life as a principal, I attended several functions a year that I would consider “fancy.” There was always graduation, something that I believed always required tasteful, professional attire and loved to shop for something new each year. Some of the dresses were from graduations. Other dresses were from gala’s attended or other society type fundraisers. And then there were the specific event pieces. My favorite was my white and black dress suit that I bought for the closing Mass at my first school. I loved that outfit and it was perfect for the event. Tasteful, elegant, and it stood out; showing others that I was not afraid of what was to come, but still honoring the past. There was also the suit set that I purchased and wore for my first national speaking gig.

    Then there were the dresses yet to be worn, just hanging there, in a way that asked, “What happened?’ I always picked up dresses that were on sale that would fit my needs so that I was never in a panic to find something last minute. Still, these unworn dresses reminded me that the life I had came to a suddent stop. There weren’t anymore graduations to lead or Masses to attend, or Gala’s.

    Instead of hitting me like a ton of bricks and catapulting me backwards into darkness, I found amusement in the fact that my current wardrobe is reminiscent of my college times and I no longer fight to get into Spanx just to be able to zip up a ‘fancy” dress for an event. The fanciest I get these days is a sweater with a pair of jeans. As much as I miss the excitement of the events I would wear these dresses to, I do not miss the stress of it all. I much prefer my jeans, shorts, and t-shirts to these dresses.

    Now the question is “What do I do with these dresses?” I want to keep the classics that can be worn regardless of trends because weddings happen, I hope to attend a fundraiser or two for organizations I believe in, and most importantly, money is tighter than ever and I am no longer in a place to afford such nice clothes. I am going to have them all dry-cleaned and then decide what I can donate and to where. I want to do that purposely. That is, I want these statement pieces to live on and promote someone’s independence. For my blue ball gown I hope it finds a home in theatre. As for my awesome dress suit, I may just have to hold on to it a little bit longer.

    As I side note, I could only take myself so seriously when going through this wardrobe box because apparently plastic dry-cleaning bags begin to disintegrate after time and make tiny pieces of clear plastic “snow” EVERYWHERE!! My apartment looked like a snow globe. It was so bad that I even broke out my own vacuum and pretended I had the energy to clean up. Luckily, I had some wonderful help in that area!

    How do you give life to your collection of “fancy” clothes? Do you hold on to them just for the sake of memories or just in case you might need them? What kind of charities could use this type of clothing? Please help me out!

    An Example of some “fancy clothes.” Presenting in Orlando at a National Conference!

  • Manifesting, Is it Just Good Luck?

    The English language is tough. So many words have various meanings that just don’t make sense. Take the word, manifest or manifesting, for example. Are we talking about a ship/plane’s document, willing something into being, or seeing something differently? It’s a difficult thing to master for sure.

    Back to manifest or manifesting, I’m not sure if its my stubborn personality that has been called bulldog- like, or my never ending patience to see something through, but I believe in the power of manifesting something into being. My father used to comment on my ability to make something happen though nothing sort of pure will and a LOT of hard work.

    When I was in high school (way too long ago), I made a habit of taking classes that I really had no business taking. Mostly AP or honor level classes. I knew that I wasn’t ever going to be an “A” student, so I might as well take the harder classes and work harder for my “B”, or sometimes worse. It was a system that paid off for me in more ways than one. First, I had better teachers, most of which figured out my plan and supported it. Second, I was exposed to better curriculums that required critical thinking. Third, and most importantly, I got some general education credits out of the way to allow me to take a ridiculous course load in college.

    It was during my first AP class, European History, that I earned my title as a Bulldog. I remember it vividly, my teacher sent me a note (a real paper note through the mail) that simply said “A 3!!! You are a Bulldog!!!” The number 3 was my score, it meant that I would get credit for the course in college and throughout the school year it seems that a 3 was WAY out of reach for me. I didn’t know it at the time, but it taught me that I can manifest something into being. It didn’t only take my brain to work, but a lot of hard work and patience.

    And so it went for many more classes. There was honors chemistry where I know the only reason I passed was because I promised my teacher that I would never torture another chem teacher by taking another chemistry class. The joke was on me when I ended up roommates and best buds with a chemistry major!

    Fast forward beyond high school and college. If I set my mind to something, it happened. It was never easy, but I successfully manifested things like becoming a principal, running a half-marathon, attaining enrollment goals, fundraising for specific causes, adding programs, losing (and then gaining) weight. If I put my mind, heart, prayers, and work into making something happen, it did. These were great times.

    Except when it didn’t happen. No amount of hard work, prayers, or manifesting could stop my school from closing or getting sick, or losing my parents. It’s taking me a long time to realize this is where I gained my fuel for manifesting other things into being. The unsuccessful attempts drive me to be more patient, say more prayers, and work harder.

    I am ready for success to happen to me again. I learned to dream and put good thoughts back into the universe. The bulldog is awake! Today, I received positive news on something I am working super hard at manifesting into being- think wet noses. I am calling this the “Why Not Me?” phase/era of my life. (Thank you Kelli Gerardi) Good things can happen to anyone, so why not to me? Some people get the fairy tale endings, why can’t I get it too?

    I’ve learned that luck has nothing to do with manifesting something. It may help, but hard work, prayers, and patience will win every time!