Fiercely Independent Pam

Blog

  • Becoming David… Bring on the Giants!

    Every so often, I find myself surrounded by a message. Usually it’s tied to some sort of scripture verse or faith practice. I tend to ignore it until it’s so loud that I can’t do anything else. Currently, that message is coming loud and clear as the Biblical story of David.

    It started several months ago when I went to see the awesome animated version done by Angel Studios. I loved the movie and the music. Then I got an email advertising the bracelet David’s mother gave him in the movie and a great sticker. I ordered both and have the sticker on my laptop and the bracelet on my wrist.

    The next “sign” was hearing the story read on my Bible in a Year podcast by Ascension press. I am loving this mission and hope to finish the Bible in a Year! I am currently at the end of the story of David. But, this wasn’t the first time I tried to learn from David. Years ago, a good friend gave me the book David Vs. Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell. It’s a great leadership read. Then this image (see below) showed up on my feed.

    So, I guess you can say it’s time to put some knowledge to work. David was never the strongest, smartest, or best, he just figured things out. He made mistakes, BIG ones. He cared for others most of the time and with the exception of these BIG mistakes, he was a decent guy who seemed to have lost his way at times. His faith and willingness to ask God for help is what inspires me to do the same.

    I feel like I have some Goliaths in front of me right now. My health is obviously the biggest one, no sling shot is going to take that away, but hopefully I can chip away at it. Second is my budget. I really need to find more income streams. I believe it will come from my ability to tutor, but I need to flush out what that is going to look like. Any thoughts?

    My faith continues to be strong and I know I will come out as the victor in all of these battles. What/who is calling you?

  • Hop on The Struggle Bus…

    I’m having a “moment” just frustrating not much more. Between my new lumbar fracture and beautiful back brace to wear, budget concerns, and not feeling my best, I want nothing more than to stay positive, but sometimes it’s a hard thing to do. I did decide to come outside and chill out with my plants and flowers on my patio.

    Have you ever felt just so overwhelmed that you’re not sure what to do? I have found that doing nothing is the worst thing, so I always try to find some sunlight and nature to ground me. I am so fortunate to have a wonderful patio that allows me to reconnect with nature.

    I know today’s struggle bus is brought on from a great night last night. I went to our local minor league baseball game for my nephew’s birthday party. Watching the game, the bat dog, and my family enjoying each other was great. Climbing stairs, being out late, and eating junk, not as great. I am taking it easy today and resting when my body says so. With much luck I will be back to myself in the morning.

    Besides grounding myself with nature, I have found that there is always something good to be thankful for. Today, I am thankful for my new wheelchair cushion. It’s pretty fancy and with any luck will stop me from having any new pressure sores. The best part is that it was actually covered by Medicare so I didn’t have to cut into my already tight budget.

    I am thinking of launching something new, and that is also taking up energy in my mind. More details on that to come… for now, trying to stay positive and grounded to what really matters!

  • Here We Go Again: If Only My Body Behaved Itself!

    So, this week was already filled with surgery, appointments, infusions, then I landed in the ER followed by an admission to the hospital! All in the exciting life and times of my body.

    Bright and early Monday morning, I was down at my home away from home, MUSC for a fistula gram. All went well, I got a good nap thanks to anesthesia and the fistula was “ballooned out” and back in working order. I may need follow up work on it, but for now its already looking better.

    All was going ok, but Tuesday brought a slew of issues later in the day. I was just feeling “off” I hate when I say that because I know it’s not really helpful. I often say things like “Something just isn’t right.” Nine out of ten times, something pops later on and it all makes sense. My vision was funky in my left eye and I had a top 10% headache. By 8 o’clock at night, I knew I better go get checked out. So to the ER I went!

    Then of course I heard the bad news that I was assigned a “hall bed”- the worse place to be with a tough headache and light sensitivity, but in the end is was worth it because the doctors admitted me right away and I landed in a room upstairs with little fanfare.

    Things went well, the neurologist was in bright and early and made some medication changes to see if they would help. I also was finally able to get some relief from the headaches. I did however start to notice that my blood pressure was quickly creeping up to a place I wasn’t comfortable with. When I asked the nurse, she dismissed it as anxiety- multiple times. I hate that! When I am anxious, I am aware and will say that I’m anxious, but when I am not and my blood pressure is increasing, please help me! So, by midnight, my blood pressure was in the 200/100’s and they finally treated it!

    Why can healthcare providers decide that they know what is going on more than a patient? I trust providers, but I also need them to trust me and my experiences. Either way I am just glad I made it home today, and despite needing to make follow up appointments, I can get back to living my life again!

    A picture of my raised flower bed with a bright red amaryllis blooming and other plants.
    A picture of my awesome raised flower bed!