Fiercely Independent Pam

Tag: Why not me?

  • Achieving Goals: Its About Time!

    I have always been a goal oriented person. I like to set goals and work to achieve them. This worked for getting into college, completing a half-marathon, and achieving career goals. I am stubborn almost to a fault and that stubbornness is what makes me persevere through trials when attempting to reach a goal.

    Last fall I wrote a document I called “Why Not Me?” that outlined my 5-10 year goals. I am chipping away at those goals by making smart decisions and working hard. I am determined to make it happen.

    One of the big goals is to befriend/acquire a mobility service dog. This is requiring more patience than I ever imagined, but I know deep in my heart it’s going to work out the way it should. Somehow, someway, I will be sharing a bed with a big lab that loves to work and play.

    Smaller goals keep me going too. Right now I challenged myself to complete the 1/4 mile loop around my building with the Zeen by Easter. I have already completed half of it so I believe I’m in good shape to achieve the larger goal. I really love the Zeen and all that I am accomplishing using it.

    Next steps include getting back on the Nustep (bike) and getting in an out of a car. Both will be a challenge but put me on the positive side of normal activities. At sometime soon I would like to remove the toilet riser as well so that I can get used to a normal height toilet and not be surprised when I am out of the house.

    Behind the scenes, I am also working on financial goals, I have recently finished my Medicaid application. I am also using an AI tool to help me manage my money and try to create an emergency fund as well.

    All of this requires a lot of time and attention, but lucky for me, right now that is something I have a lot of. It’s very unlike me to put myself first, but I recognize that is needed to achieve my goals, both short term and long term.

  • Under a Warm Quilt: Dreams of Things to Come!

    I have a small obsession with a quilt. You see my dad loved all sorts of patterns and designs on his shirts. He mismatched patterns with solids and such. My dear sister-in- law took a leap of faith and created a wonderful quilt using some fabrics from my dad’s closet. The end result is a wonderful throw quilt that I use at least once daily. It sits on my bed and I use it, even when I am not cold as it’s such a comfort tool for me.

    I swear that I feel my dad close by when I am resting or sleeping under this amazing quilt. Erin really outdid herself and created a cross pattern for the reverse of the quilt. It was a huge undertaking for her and I love the end result so much. I often wish I took the quilt with me to the hospital, but hate the idea of getting “hospital germs” on it. Everything needs to be balanced to keep my immune system safe.

    Currently, I believe my dad is sending me good thoughts and warm dreams of my service dog. I know he would be so Impressed with all that a dog is going to be able to do for me. He would’ve getting a kick over all the things that the dog will require including special shoes and sunglasses. He barely thought a dog needed even a leash.

  • Manifesting, Is it Just Good Luck?

    The English language is tough. So many words have various meanings that just don’t make sense. Take the word, manifest or manifesting, for example. Are we talking about a ship/plane’s document, willing something into being, or seeing something differently? It’s a difficult thing to master for sure.

    Back to manifest or manifesting, I’m not sure if its my stubborn personality that has been called bulldog- like, or my never ending patience to see something through, but I believe in the power of manifesting something into being. My father used to comment on my ability to make something happen though nothing sort of pure will and a LOT of hard work.

    When I was in high school (way too long ago), I made a habit of taking classes that I really had no business taking. Mostly AP or honor level classes. I knew that I wasn’t ever going to be an “A” student, so I might as well take the harder classes and work harder for my “B”, or sometimes worse. It was a system that paid off for me in more ways than one. First, I had better teachers, most of which figured out my plan and supported it. Second, I was exposed to better curriculums that required critical thinking. Third, and most importantly, I got some general education credits out of the way to allow me to take a ridiculous course load in college.

    It was during my first AP class, European History, that I earned my title as a Bulldog. I remember it vividly, my teacher sent me a note (a real paper note through the mail) that simply said “A 3!!! You are a Bulldog!!!” The number 3 was my score, it meant that I would get credit for the course in college and throughout the school year it seems that a 3 was WAY out of reach for me. I didn’t know it at the time, but it taught me that I can manifest something into being. It didn’t only take my brain to work, but a lot of hard work and patience.

    And so it went for many more classes. There was honors chemistry where I know the only reason I passed was because I promised my teacher that I would never torture another chem teacher by taking another chemistry class. The joke was on me when I ended up roommates and best buds with a chemistry major!

    Fast forward beyond high school and college. If I set my mind to something, it happened. It was never easy, but I successfully manifested things like becoming a principal, running a half-marathon, attaining enrollment goals, fundraising for specific causes, adding programs, losing (and then gaining) weight. If I put my mind, heart, prayers, and work into making something happen, it did. These were great times.

    Except when it didn’t happen. No amount of hard work, prayers, or manifesting could stop my school from closing or getting sick, or losing my parents. It’s taking me a long time to realize this is where I gained my fuel for manifesting other things into being. The unsuccessful attempts drive me to be more patient, say more prayers, and work harder.

    I am ready for success to happen to me again. I learned to dream and put good thoughts back into the universe. The bulldog is awake! Today, I received positive news on something I am working super hard at manifesting into being- think wet noses. I am calling this the “Why Not Me?” phase/era of my life. (Thank you Kelli Gerardi) Good things can happen to anyone, so why not to me? Some people get the fairy tale endings, why can’t I get it too?

    I’ve learned that luck has nothing to do with manifesting something. It may help, but hard work, prayers, and patience will win every time!