Fiercely Independent Pam

Tag: this too shall pass

  • Chronic Illness and Missing Out on the Good Things!

    Chronic Illness and Missing Out on the Good Things!

    So, my medical issues caught up with my social life, again… Chronic illness means that sometimes, often, you miss out on great things.

    Today is my niece’s high school graduation party. The one she planned herself and I am so proud of the young adult she is becoming. She has her mind focused, Jesus in her heart, and BIG plans for the future. She is one of the big reasons I live here, I want to be part of their lives and watch them grow.

    Over the last week, I was hospitalized for six days. I’m dealing with some major GI issues and still on a pretty restrictive diet. That coupled with the heat/humidity is a recipe for disaster and the last thing I would want to do is take attention away from her on the big day by needing medical attention. All of this to say, I will be staying home and not attending.

    Being a grown-up means making decisions that are in your best interest as well as the best interest of those you care about. Its not about what is the most fun or doing what you want all the time and that tends to be one of the hardest pills to swallow with chronic illness. I can deal with the procedures, doctor appointments, medicine’s side effects, and more, but missing out on the BIG things is just so hard.

    I know that my niece and the rest of the family understands- they are great about it, but it doesn’t make my disappointment any easier. I will find another way to celebrate my niece (in air-conditioning)and life will move along. I will eventually just chalk this up to my life right now and realize that making the right choice is always the better choice.

    I hate sounding so “down” and I really am not. I just think it’s important to point out that everything isn’t always sunshine and rainbows! Chronic illness is a hard thing to battle every moment. You are juggling so many different things and every day, or even every hour is different. You just never know what is going to happen. So, my fellow chronic illness fighters- keep the faith and good fight. For my family and friends- thank you for your understanding and knowing its not about what I want to do.

  • Hop on The Struggle Bus…

    I’m having a “moment” just frustrating not much more. Between my new lumbar fracture and beautiful back brace to wear, budget concerns, and not feeling my best, I want nothing more than to stay positive, but sometimes it’s a hard thing to do. I did decide to come outside and chill out with my plants and flowers on my patio.

    Have you ever felt just so overwhelmed that you’re not sure what to do? I have found that doing nothing is the worst thing, so I always try to find some sunlight and nature to ground me. I am so fortunate to have a wonderful patio that allows me to reconnect with nature.

    I know today’s struggle bus is brought on from a great night last night. I went to our local minor league baseball game for my nephew’s birthday party. Watching the game, the bat dog, and my family enjoying each other was great. Climbing stairs, being out late, and eating junk, not as great. I am taking it easy today and resting when my body says so. With much luck I will be back to myself in the morning.

    Besides grounding myself with nature, I have found that there is always something good to be thankful for. Today, I am thankful for my new wheelchair cushion. It’s pretty fancy and with any luck will stop me from having any new pressure sores. The best part is that it was actually covered by Medicare so I didn’t have to cut into my already tight budget.

    I am thinking of launching something new, and that is also taking up energy in my mind. More details on that to come… for now, trying to stay positive and grounded to what really matters!