Tag: Stupid Veins

  • Having a Tribe:Family, Friends, and Staff, Oh My!

    Well, I am back inside- not the big house but the hospital-Again! My blood pressure, which usually runs low is through the roof, I called an ambulance when it reached 250/100. Nothing cardiac going on, but still not able to figure out what is causing the high BP and chest pain. In the meantime, I was pulled off all my meds that could raise my blood pressure, mainly my steroids that I take for adrenal insufficiency. Being off of them is making me feel pretty crappy. That coupled with needing a foley catheter again and continued pain, has me searching for some positives.

    I found hope in a great place- mainly what I am now describing as my “Tribe.” These are the people who together we help each other out and just make things happen. I could not survive without my tribe. My new friends at my community who, despite their own disabilities come visit me with cookies in hand and are available to hear me vent without judgement. My tribe includes the caregivers and employees at my community who do amazing things like look after my plants, or bring me the medications I didn’t bring with me.

    They are all there for me and I just hope that I am always there for them as well. I guess my biggest piece of advice on finding your tribe is to be open to help from anyone and everyone who is willing, you never know who is actually going to be there for you. Likewise, you need to show up for your tribe, be a friend, and most importantly listen to them!

    It is equally important to consider and recognize those that are NOT in your tribe. Those that gaslight you into thinking that your symptoms aren’t real or blame you for your conditions and even those that try to offer advice sometimes. This is a hard pill to swallow as sometimes those that you have to recognize as not part of your tribe are the people you desperately want to be your biggest cheerleaders. People’s lives are busy and we need to recognize that. Often, just like not blaming a person for their chronic illness, we need to respect that life is messy and we cannot blame people for not being part of our tribe.

    The bottom line is that it still hurts when someone can’t be there for you, or when you can’t be there for them. Relationships are messy and just because someone can’t be part of your tribe, doesn’t mean that you can’t like/love them. Our tribes change almost day by day, but relationships with friends and family always remain.

    I am so thankful for my past tribes, and in a really special way, my current tribe. I hope and pray that I am a member of standing in other people’s tribe by giving and showing up for them. A cookie in hand goes a long way.

  • I’d Like to Get off this Ride, Please!

    Well, here I am… again- in the hospital trying to figure things out. Fourth admission in the last 45 days. This one was unique- was feeling pretty crappy all of the sudden, high heart rate, super high blood pressure, and a crazy bloody nose. Had the medical assistant in the building come see me and we called my primary. Decided to call ems and take a ride to the local stand-alone ER.

    Doctor came in an did his quick assessment, ordered some bloodwork and tried to stop the nosebleed. Lots transpired including a ct to rule out blood clots some packing in my nose and eventually stronger antibiotics, fluids, and some pain medicine. A plan was devised to go home with close follow-up at the urologist the next day (already scheduled) and a quick pick up of the stronger antibiotic. As my luck goes, as the dr was typing my discharge papers, my medical record was flagged with a new result- priliminary results of the urine cultures from my past admission two days ago. The results were not good a
    “superbug” of sorts that required iv antibiotics and triggered a sepsis alert. Obviously this meant an admission. Being that I was at a stand-alone ER, I had to be transferred to the hospital.

    Without being super specific and reliving everything, a series of promises were made to me about the level of medicine that they could offer; this was not true and extremely frustrating. Given it was nighttime in the hospital, I knew I wasn’t going to get very far. Morning came and we were moving and shaking, even a transfer to MUSC was in the works. As quickly as things were happening was as fast as they were falling apart, my goal was to have a great visit with my amazing friend who brought me more things from my apartment, and then to sleep well, hopefully with the bipap. I did manage some good sleep in between the interruptions and woke feeling pretty good, considering.

    MUSC was not accepting transfers because they didn’t have any available beds, so I decided to make the most of the situation and practice my advocacy skills. Then the news came, MRSA detected in the bloodstream (blood cultures started to result), new additional antibiotic, and close monitoring of vital signs and blood work. I’ve been down this route many times with sepsis- always scary, never fun, do not recommend!

    After a great visit from an area priest who anointed me and then came back with Communion (so thankful!) and some good phone calls to family/friends, I had a decent sleep (thank goodness!) and woke up ready to see what the day would bring. Another new Dr., she thinks that the MRSA found in the last round of blood cultures was a contamination, not a real result and ordered more blood cultures and discontinued the 2nd antibiotic (GRR!) Now it’s a waiting game to see what will grow with the newest cultures.

    At the same time, I continue to battle with my bladder. I’m now going on my third week with a foley catheter in. Dealing with continued pain, pressure, and now bladder spasms. The plan is to leave the catheter in until the UTI clears and then try a voiding trial. The hope is that I can both void and full empty, otherwise its on to plan b- lots of things have been discussed, none of which please me in the least. Then there is the issue of the large kidney stone that needs to be addressed, but that needs to be done as an outpatient apparently.

    Whew! Besides the obvious of trying to make the best of this pretty crappy situation, it important to recognize the importance of trusting your “gut.” I unfortunately am rarely wrong when I think something is wrong with my body- many would have brushed off my initial symptoms that brought me to the ER, but I pushed through to the doctors that “something wasn’t right!”

    Still have this feeling that I will come out ok on the other end, but something still isn’t right. Infection isn’t clearing as well as I’d like and I have a bad feeling about this bladder stuff. For now, I will visit with anyone and everyone who I can, in person or on the phone, do some writing, brought some crocheting with me, and getting some good earned sleep.

    Tomorrow is Monday, which means things will be moving and shaking again after a quiet, empty weekend. Hopefully something, not too scary will grow on my cultures and I can start planning to go home to full recover. I am bummed that I had to cancel a few things that I was really looking forward to and hope my visit from a dear friend isn’t too impacted.

  • Infusion Day(again)! My Adventure with PI (the short version)…

    My whole life has been plagued by various infections, weird viruses and assorted “stuff.” There was the twice yearly pneumonia battles, various skin “things”, and constant chest and/or sinus infections. No one thought much of it, but it caused a lot of missed school and that of course made everything more difficult. Other issues like constant episodes of passing out, high heart rates, and asthma symptoms masked the constant infections. It was a parade of doctors visits, antibiotics, and lots of naps.

    Fast forward to adulthood and taking charge of my own healthcare and I found myself wanting some answers. I found an incredible asthma/allergy/sinus specialist in Baltimore who helped me partially sort out some of this mystery. I was placed on lots of asthma meds (even Xolair) and for the first time someone was tracking the oddities of my infections. There were more antibiotics, but my asthma was under better control and I was even going to start allergy shots (if I ever got “better.”) I still managed to get pneumonia at least annually, which usually meant at least an ER visit, but overall things seemed to be improving. Again, other health issues got in the way and took priority.

    When it became time to leave Baltimore and move to Myrtle Beach, I was a hot mess-(more on that in a separate post). I landed in Myrtle Beach and quickly tried to situate medical providers. Through a series of failures and dismissals, I found myself at MUSC in Charleston. I navigated this new health care system and found Dr. Cox- a dual trained and certified immunologist/pulmonologist. I shared my medical history and besides having an awesome plan for my asthma, he had a hunch about something and wanted to run some bloodwork. After a few more appointments, a vaccine challenge and some more tests, I had a new diagnosis- I had a Primary Immune Deficiency, and he suspected that it was CVID (later this was changed to a general PI). I was to start on infusions that I would learn to do myself (subq) of immunoglobulin. These weekly infusions would act as a booster to my immune system since it was essentially a piece of junk and I struggle to make antibodies to protect me from infections. I failed the vaccine challenge, which meant when I was given the pneumonia vaccine, I failed to mount an immunity to any of it. Essentially my immune system said “No Way!” Infusions would provide me, temporarily with antibodies that “normal” adults have. These infusions are made from plasma donations and are very expensive.

    I went to an infusion center and a nurse showed me how to give myself the medication in either my thighs or abdomen. I believe I started with six needles (lines) and used Hizentra as the first medication. It also required use of a pump that I turned to activate and took about an hour total. The nurse told me I was good to go and to repeat the infusion every week. I took home my giant bag of medical supplies and little did I know that my life would forever be changed. I appreciated the freedom that I could not only do my own infusion when I was able to fit it in my busy principal/family life, but quickly become inundated with medical supplies and the “pressure” to schedule my infusion. Some weeks it was easy and didn’t interfere with my “life,” other weeks, when it leaked or caused bruising or something didn’t work right, it stressed me out, but I persisted because I was getting less infections and my IGG level was finally going up and reaching towards my goal of over 1000.

    Overtime, my dosage was adjusted a few times, but I fell into a rhythm with the infusions, I had what I thought was a ridiculous amount of medical “stuff” (little did I know what was to come!) and it became my new normal until I had a bad infusion and developed aseptic meningitis for the first time. I had a terrible headache, neck stiffness and felt really “bad.” I went to the ER and they did a spinal tap (in the ER by a ER Doctor and not a specialist- OWCH!).

    After recovery from meningitis and having my infusions on hold, I developed several infections. Dr. Cox to the rescue and adjusted my infusions. I was finally back in business but still a medical mess with other symptoms and conditions to be treated. I will chronicle these adventures in a different post, but long story short, I was forced to first leave the principal job and step back into the classroom (while I truly mourned this loss, I LOVED being in classroom as a 4th grade teacher!) After a while, my health guided me to a place where I had a serious conversation with Dr. Cox and he helped me realize that I was no longer able to work and needed to take, what could be a permanent leave, and begin the process of filing for disability. I was at a complete loss and didn’t know what to do. I could not afford to live on my own, had my dog Sofi, and was so sick, I could barely take care of myself. I remember making a difficult call to my mom- I held back tears when I simply asked if Sofi and I could move in with them in Florida. Of course they said yes, and within a month, I packed up my RAV-4 and Sofi and I made our way to Punta Gorda!

    I found an immunologist in Naples (about 2 hours away) and he changed my immunoglobulin to Cuvitru and I was still infusing weekly. After two rounds of meningitis, more spinal taps, and hospital stays, it was decided that I needed to infuse smaller amounts more frequently. We together decided to infuse a small amount every day. In total it took about 30 minutes and I of course was delivered even more medical stuff. I found ways to organize it, but daily infusions took their toll on my overall mental health, I felt like I couldn’t escape the reality of always being sick.

    Then chaos struck, I was super sick in the hospital and no one could figure out what was going on- my neurosurgeon (by this point had a vp shunt) decided to do another spinal tap and doing extensive testing on the spinal fluid. I remember him coming to my hospital room with the news that I had viral meningitis and needed to be put on strong IV antivirals among other things (lots of other things popped up from the spinal fluid- but were tabled for now).

    After successful, but difficult treatment for viral meningitis, my immunologist had to figure out what would be next for my PI. We made the decision to change to IVIG (which meant getting a port since my veins are junk!) and he chose Acentiv as the drug of choice. After a long insurance approval process, I began receiving this new product at home with a great nursing team. This is what I still receive every 14 days and the whole process takes about 7 and 1/2 hours total.

    I absolutely love my nurses that spend the day with me- we talk, order yummy lunches, and I finally feel less burdened by my Primary Immune Deficiency. It’s funny to me that when I was in control of the process, I struggled, but now that I have to depend on others to help, I finally feel better abut it.

    I skipped a lot of trials and tribulations including needed 3 different ports, being septic and in the ICU (not once but at least twice), GI issues that some believe can be attributed to PI, more PICC lines than I can count, and most crazy- my year long adventure to get a fistula for IVIG. I am so grateful for my new MUSC immunologist, Dr. Williams, who has been an advocate for me and helped right the ship on this crazy journey.

    So that was my day. This time I had a substitute nurse, but we talked the day away and with the exception of a needy pump (it likes to beep), it was a successful infusion. Tomorrow I may wake up and feel great and ready to take on the world, or I may fell like I got run over by a Mack truck- I never know how that will go.