Fiercely Independent Pam

Tag: standing without falling

  • As The Puzzle Pieces Come Together!

    Things are starting to come together. I can stand without too much assistance from a walker or raised surface, I am transferring without the board at times, and I am able to get “on” my Zeen. All of these things are pointing to more independence and ability to do more tasks.

    I am truly hoping that when I attempt to use the toilet tomorrow, it is a success and I am able to stand up and off the toilet without too much fuss. More than two months with a bedpan is getting quite old for me. It is the last task for independence besides getting in an out of a car. This too needs to be mastered sooner than later, because I have appointments at MUSC that require car transportation.

    I wanted to say something that most didn’t agree with, mainly coming home from rehab unable to stand. I wasn’t really given the choice to stay, but I guess I could have pushed it, but I really felt that I wasn’t going to master the task in that environment. It might seem silly, but if everyone is not on board for the same goals, I don’t see it happening. I knew I could kick my own butt and do exercises that would help me eventually stand. I also knew that being home with my power wheelchair would be so much easier for transfers and such. I believe I made the right choice and glad that I did come home when I did.

    I am thankful for my caregivers who helped me out, especially in the beginning when I first came home. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without their support and creativity. Also, they provided a giant kick in the butt when I needed it most.

    Now, the list of tasks is getting smaller and I am feeling more successful. I know the toilet is going to be a challenge, but something oh so worth it! I look forward to the day that I don’t have to clean out a bedpan!

    Life with the Zeen continues to go well. I took it out for a longer walk this morning and thinking of going out again. I love the freedom of being able to use my legs and still have security from falls.

  • Wrapping My Head Around The Idea That I’m Not Going to Be Dropped and Break My Leg Again: I Can Stand!

    I have a mental break that I am going to fall and break my leg again. I am trying so hard to get over it, but it is still there- past trauma rears its ugly head at the worst possible times. I want nothing more than to stand up and have the strength to stay there and take a few steps. This is mission critical to be able to stand and walk again. I know I play the role of someone who is tough and able to handle so much, but when my brain plays tricks on me it’s so much harder. When I was in Florida and learning to walk again, I had an unfortunate incident where I was dropped by a staff member and broke my leg.

    Then in October, I had my accident with getting run over by a car and breaking my leg once more. So, I am struggling with my confidence to say the least. All of this coupled with getting stuck in a few bathrooms and needing the fire department to lift me out of some bizarre situations, has left me more than vulnerable. It does amaze me that I am not embarrassed but just need to do what needs to be done!

    I am so fortunate that I had amazing primary care from Your Health- Lindsey was able to work magic and get me registered here at Encompass, which is exactly where I am supposed to be. I am willing to spend as much time as possible to get this right, even if it means rescheduling important appointments down at MUSC.

    I’ve also been dealing with crazy bloody noses again. It seems that I just keep dripping blood and trying not to make a mess. I appreciate that they are giving me full size tissue boxes and tissues instead of the little packages. I will eventually get back to the ENT and figure out how to control this! It seems that trying to stand also makes my nose bleed.

    I will try again maybe today, but definitely tomorrow. I know I can stand and take a few steps. I am also trying to keep track of my weight, which is hard to do, but I’ve managed to step up on the “kitchen scale” each day. I am gaining weight, instead of losing, but considering the experience, I am ok with that.

    I totally miss my electric wheelchair and all the freedom it brings me. I look forward to getting home and using it again. I feel like learned a lot about it and how it can help me out in even bigger ways.