Fiercely Independent Pam

Tag: power wheelchair user

  • Holding it All Together- Not So Pretty, But Getting the Job Done!

    Holding it All Together- Not So Pretty, But Getting the Job Done!

    Have you ever had that kinda morning? The one that makes you think you should just run back under the covers? That was me this morning! So much happened, I’m not quite sure I will remember it all!

    Yesterday, my power wheelchair began randomly shutting off and jerking me forward in the process. I thought it was the connections and put new tape on the this morning to keep them together better. Then I charged the wheelchair. When I removed the charger and turned it back on, I got nada! No power at all. Meaning I didn’t have use of the most useful item in my apartment! I managed to finish my morning routine with my walker. I also made a phone call to the wheelchair company to have them call me as soon as possible!

    Next on the list was that my deposit that was supposed to come through to my bank account did not. Another phone call and figured out I added an extra digit to my account number by mistake! Could take up to a week to work out! Great!

    The shining spot of the morning was physical therapy where I made it 2 laps (1/2 mile) around the building in my Zeen and felt great! I created a new goal- 1 mile (4 laps) by my birthday (May 19th). This will be a HUGE accomplishment!

    Then the hits kept coming… I went to lunch using my walker and transferred to a regular chair. That went ok, but I had to stop several times walking back to my apartment because I was lightheaded and dizzy. Also, the wheelchair repair guy is booked for the remainder of the day and unable to get to my wheelchair until tomorrow afternoon.

    Tomorrow I was scheduled to have my fistula looked at through a special procedure in the OR at MUSC in Charleston. I say was because I found out that I got bumped until next week, but I guess that is still better than going there and then getting bumped! Now I’m scheduled for a 6:30am arrival! Ugh!

    So, here is where I stand: deposit coming in tomorrow, wheelchair repair tomorrow (hopefully this will not wipe out my deposit), fistula procedure next Thursday, thinking I am going to challenge myself and take my Zeen to dinner.

    Days like this is a sign to give yourself some grace. Not wallowing in self-pity, but recognizing that you are holding on with tape (and hopefully a prayer or two). I will proceed gently with myself and laugh through the unplanned moments. This is what we are called to do!

    A goose riding a scooter with duct tape- it reads "keeping it together with tape and denial"

  • The Ground Sure is Hard!

    I still can’t believe it happened! I was simply transitioning from the sink back to my wheelchair and BOOM! I went down, and HARD! I reviewed my video footage afterwards (no video of the bathroom but sound). I definitely shouted some expletives and some other unmentionables!

    Sometimes, like this time, I know I am going down. Other times, especially when I pass out from blood pressure, I simply find myself on the floor. I really want to make it a long term goal for PT that I can manage to get up by myself considering that, while I love the local fire department, they don’t need to be coming to my assistance if I can do something on my own.

    So, I am left with several bruises, Including a large one on my bottom, and some scrapes from my wheelchair. It could’ve been worse and required a trip to the ER. I know I was lucky.

    I don’t think other people realize the emotional toll of a fall. Your whole world is untrustworthy instantly. You hesitate to stand again, to transfer again, or even leave your chair or bed. It is totally more mental and physical. I have found that it requires me to challenge my thinking pattern and be willing to take the chance of falling again.

    Yes, it is scary, and yes, it is “easier” at first to stay in bed or my chair, but the show must go on and I need to try again. The first transfer is the worst and then a few hours later you are barely thinking about the chance of falling because muscle memory took over.

    No matter what, the ground in a first floor apartment sure is hard!

  • Wrapping My Head Around The Idea That I’m Not Going to Be Dropped and Break My Leg Again: I Can Stand!

    I have a mental break that I am going to fall and break my leg again. I am trying so hard to get over it, but it is still there- past trauma rears its ugly head at the worst possible times. I want nothing more than to stand up and have the strength to stay there and take a few steps. This is mission critical to be able to stand and walk again. I know I play the role of someone who is tough and able to handle so much, but when my brain plays tricks on me it’s so much harder. When I was in Florida and learning to walk again, I had an unfortunate incident where I was dropped by a staff member and broke my leg.

    Then in October, I had my accident with getting run over by a car and breaking my leg once more. So, I am struggling with my confidence to say the least. All of this coupled with getting stuck in a few bathrooms and needing the fire department to lift me out of some bizarre situations, has left me more than vulnerable. It does amaze me that I am not embarrassed but just need to do what needs to be done!

    I am so fortunate that I had amazing primary care from Your Health- Lindsey was able to work magic and get me registered here at Encompass, which is exactly where I am supposed to be. I am willing to spend as much time as possible to get this right, even if it means rescheduling important appointments down at MUSC.

    I’ve also been dealing with crazy bloody noses again. It seems that I just keep dripping blood and trying not to make a mess. I appreciate that they are giving me full size tissue boxes and tissues instead of the little packages. I will eventually get back to the ENT and figure out how to control this! It seems that trying to stand also makes my nose bleed.

    I will try again maybe today, but definitely tomorrow. I know I can stand and take a few steps. I am also trying to keep track of my weight, which is hard to do, but I’ve managed to step up on the “kitchen scale” each day. I am gaining weight, instead of losing, but considering the experience, I am ok with that.

    I totally miss my electric wheelchair and all the freedom it brings me. I look forward to getting home and using it again. I feel like learned a lot about it and how it can help me out in even bigger ways.