Fiercely Independent Pam

Tag: plant mom

  • Having a Tribe:Family, Friends, and Staff, Oh My!

    Well, I am back inside- not the big house but the hospital-Again! My blood pressure, which usually runs low is through the roof, I called an ambulance when it reached 250/100. Nothing cardiac going on, but still not able to figure out what is causing the high BP and chest pain. In the meantime, I was pulled off all my meds that could raise my blood pressure, mainly my steroids that I take for adrenal insufficiency. Being off of them is making me feel pretty crappy. That coupled with needing a foley catheter again and continued pain, has me searching for some positives.

    I found hope in a great place- mainly what I am now describing as my “Tribe.” These are the people who together we help each other out and just make things happen. I could not survive without my tribe. My new friends at my community who, despite their own disabilities come visit me with cookies in hand and are available to hear me vent without judgement. My tribe includes the caregivers and employees at my community who do amazing things like look after my plants, or bring me the medications I didn’t bring with me.

    They are all there for me and I just hope that I am always there for them as well. I guess my biggest piece of advice on finding your tribe is to be open to help from anyone and everyone who is willing, you never know who is actually going to be there for you. Likewise, you need to show up for your tribe, be a friend, and most importantly listen to them!

    It is equally important to consider and recognize those that are NOT in your tribe. Those that gaslight you into thinking that your symptoms aren’t real or blame you for your conditions and even those that try to offer advice sometimes. This is a hard pill to swallow as sometimes those that you have to recognize as not part of your tribe are the people you desperately want to be your biggest cheerleaders. People’s lives are busy and we need to recognize that. Often, just like not blaming a person for their chronic illness, we need to respect that life is messy and we cannot blame people for not being part of our tribe.

    The bottom line is that it still hurts when someone can’t be there for you, or when you can’t be there for them. Relationships are messy and just because someone can’t be part of your tribe, doesn’t mean that you can’t like/love them. Our tribes change almost day by day, but relationships with friends and family always remain.

    I am so thankful for my past tribes, and in a really special way, my current tribe. I hope and pray that I am a member of standing in other people’s tribe by giving and showing up for them. A cookie in hand goes a long way.

  • Plant Mom

    When I moved to my current living situation, I quickly appreciated my wonderful patio walkout. It my semi-private, small oasis that fosters a new hobby-being a “plant mom.” Through the winter I dreamed of what could be- still too cold to plant anything but would spend sometime each morning basking in the morning sun.

    During winter I also decided to embrace some indoor plants. I found a great seller of starter plants on Etsy and ordered a few from plants.com as well as being gifted a few. I got a great plant stand from Amazon that not only looks good, but has built in grow lights for the dim darkness of winter. I tended to this plants and almost all are doing great! I looked for plants that are dog friendly (always trying to plan ahead for my service dog), as well as air purifying (my favorite for this is my snake plant).

    Fast forward to early spring and my determination to get my patio ready for the warmer- growing friendly weather. I did a lot of research to find the perfect chair (from Outdoor Nook) and I am so happy with it! Then came the research and purchase of a wheelchair friendly raised flower bed (found on Amazon). I wanted something on wheels to be able to bring in during the winter. I love my choice and it checks off all my boxes! Next, I asked a good friend to bring me to Home Depot to purchase some plants- got all sorts of things, with my favorite being my little potted lemon tree, a tribute to my dad and his lemon tree he used to grow lemons to make lemoncellio. All my plants are doing well with the exception of my lost strawberry plant (should have left it in its pot and not planted in the flower bed). I’ve had some help from caregivers and friends with planting and watering, especially when I was in the hospital or recovering from multiple surgeries and couldn’t lift my watering can.

    Yesterday, I spent a few hours “deadheading” and cleaning up my plants, some are struggling a little with the current heat situation and others are thriving. Hopefully this attention will benefit the plants and they will be thriving soon! Today’s goals are to spend some attention on my indoor plants and get them into great shape for the future.

    I share all this to remind myself and hopefully others that being useful to someone or something is so important. Purpose in life helps keep you grounded, feeling secure, and give you motivation to keep going and not let the hard days win! Find your passion- it’s so important to give your life purpose, especially when dealing with disabilities or health struggles. So often we are caught in what seems like a never ending cycle of medical appointments, bad news, and pain that we can’t see the solutions. Giving your life purpose helps keep all these things at bay.

    Included are some but not all pics of my plants that make me a proud Plant Mom!