Today I did something I haven’t done in years. I took a shower two days in a row. This might seem trivial to most of you, unless you have chronic illness and/or pain, you wouldn’t understand. I am not ashamed to say that usually I can only manage two showers a week, and that is with caregiver help. These showers exhaust me to the point of needing to lie down and sleep immediately after most of the time.
With the help of my medical team, we secured additional services to help with the showering. Mainly this consisted of an OT to teach me “tricks” that conserve energy while showering. Last week was a “dry run” and we problem solved some issues. I ordered a new shower caddy to limit the amount of twisting and bending to grab bottles, soap, and washcloths. The OT also shifted my handheld closer to my shower chair. I am still researching the best sponge with a handle type of thing to reach my back and legs for rough days. I’m also awaiting a new gadget to help with applying lotion by myself.
I haven’t talked about it much, but I use a medical wearable called Visible that helps keep me on pace to conserve energy (think spoon theory meets technology). I’ll write a post and maybe a video that goes more in depth about this powerful tool, but for now, know that it is amazing and gives real, usable data to everyday symptoms. Previously, my showers cost me an average of 1.3 points (I only get 14 a day). After these changes by the OT, my shower this morning only cost me 0.8 points and more importantly, I didn’t end up crashing into bed after. Remember also that I showered yesterday as well.
I sometimes talk about the life I used to have versus the life I have now. Neither is better than the other, it’s about what you make of it and knowing that God, above all else, puts you exactly where you need to be. In my “previous life” I jumped out of bed and showered every day, something I couldn’t do now, but you know what? Those showers in my “old life” often were the perfect environment for daily tears when I was completely overwhelmed by my job, my situation, and life in general. I couldn’t let others see this side of me so I had to hide, the shower provided the perfect place to do this.
So, I might not be able to shower every morning after bounding out of bed, but I no longer hide and cry in the shower. Like I said before, neither is better than the other, but the wisdom lies in the perspective of having lived through both lives. Every season or life we live teaches us something, the trick is to try to learn the lesson at the time and not through hindsight.
