It is now a week that I have known that I was going to need open heart surgery. I was transferred on Monday and on this coming Monday, I will be the second surgical case. They will be doing a full traditional open heart surgery including breaking the sternum and opening everything up. The aorta valve will be replaced by either a pig or cow valve and the vegetation that is growing from the infection will be removed. Surgery time is estimated to be anywhere from three to six hours and I will be on a vent the entire time. I will most likely be intubated for the night of the surgery as well. This is a lot to take in.
Today I woke up and realized that I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Meaning I knew I had a lot of questions on information that I wasn’t even given yet. Talking with members of my surgical team has helped to not only learn what I didn’t know, but ask questions and get answers about the process.
On top of tracking down information, I feel pretty crummy. My blood pressure is low due to the valve failing, which leaves me in a constant state of exhaustion and general crumminess. I have lessened my need for pain medication because the lasix is doing a good job keeping fluid off my lungs, but that too comes with a host of annoying issues including having to get up to the bathroom very often. Getting up, dragging all this equipment and then still having to self-cath, is exhausting on its own. Then there is the issue of needing help to make this all happen, which of course cramps with my “Fiercely Independent Attitude.” Just having to ask for help drives me crazy.
So, that’s how I am rolling- wake up, pain?, bathroom, exhaustion, sleep, wake up, pain? bathroom, exhaustion, … I look forward to the part where I can try some distractions like my crocheting or even watching the TV. I find comfort in phone calls and emails and appreciate people reaching out, but that to an honestly be frustrating because I never know who or when someone will show up at my door, interrupting a good talk with friend or family member.
I guess that whining list is just that, proof that I am still getting frustrated and definitely not taking everything in perfect stride. That is an impossible task and recognize that is important to note that everything isn’t perfect or inspiring most of the time. I am fortunate for amazing nursing and people who genially care about me as a person and patient. I had to cut out a lot of my medications that help me be a happier person, but safety is the name of the game right now, so I am happy to do that.
I put this post aside for a day and am coming back to it. I have sense spoken to the main surgeon who was wonderful and answered a lot of my questions and concerns. I also am super excited to know that my sister and nephew are coming down Sunday through Wednesday to help and be with me, which is beyond wonderful! I had some visitors today who brought some needed and comfort items and provided a good distraction for a while. Other than that, am taking advantage of having a lazy day today and just catching up on what I feel like doing.
In the meantime, I ask you to warm your Rosaries, gather your prayer buddies, and anything else that will help the surgeons do their incredible job. I am confident in my team and my body to pull me through this major endeavor. I am around if you want to call or text!