I found this image on social media and realized I do this all the time. My fears or anxieties win all too often. I am so busy processing the “what ifs” that I never process the actual events and facts. Take today’s drama- my wheelchair is out of commission still and requires over $1000 in parts alone. I, fairly quickly had myself out on the street because I was paying for my wheelchair repairs and would not have enough to make rent. I get “revved” up and just can’t stop the what if thoughts and negative consequences.
It is definitely true that my anxieties have anxieties. Sometimes I dive down a rabbit hole so deep that I lose connection with almost anything that makes sense. I have gotten so much better about this in recent years, through recognizing early symptoms and practicing grounding techniques such as breathing exercises, prayer, meditation, and most importantly- fact checking. It is NOT a fact that I will be on the street tomorrow!
Anxiety is a strange force. It sometimes comes out of nowhere and throws you far off your goal. For me, it is the truest example of devilish behavior. The only way I have learned to defeat this behavior is to confront it with my faith. I need to believe in myself, those that love me, and most importantly to my God.
My Catholic faith has taught me that God will overcome any worries and tribulations. My faith tradition has also taught me some very helpful actions. I have learned to “work my rosary beads” to ground myself. I have a special devotion to Mary Undoer of Knots. The very image of our Mother undoing our anxieties and stressors of life provides so much comfort.
I am a believer that you should seek help from all areas of life when faced with troubles. I utilize medications to help me get out of the rabbit holes I find myself in all too often. I do not see this as a crutch or the easy way out. I see the medication as a tool, just like my rosary or even the dance party I have privately in my apartment.
I have learned that it is important to name behaviors as a result of anxiety. You do not have to be ashamed of having these behaviors, it is a force working against you and with time, practice, and faith, you can overcome the force.
When I made a change in my life a few years ago, I adopted the mantra- “Don’t let the hard days win!” This includes tackling the anxiety monster, the over-thinking, and finding ways out of all the rabbit holes. Utilize the tools you practiced with, pray for help, and remember to check the facts.
