Fiercely Independent Pam

Tag: fiercely independent!

  • Financial Woes: Being Disabled is Expensive

    Having a small “pity party” for myself. I’ll get over it before I even publish this post, but like anything else, I know the best thing I can do is get these feelings out. A year ago, I was faced smack in the face with one of the biggest surprises of my life. I was being “tossed out” of my community. On paper this was due to my medical needs being more than they could meet, however I was not asking them to meet them. The actuality was that I was too aware of their missteps and failures for myself and other residents. In hindsight, the move to my current community was the best thing that could have ever happened to me! The process of moving and settling in was quick and somewhat painless, but it came at a cost- a financial cost that I never quite recovered from.

    Fast forward to today and I continue to struggle to stretch my social security payment as much as possible. I do not qualify for any extra help, because ironically I worked so much, my social security payment is just over the poverty line to be able to qualify for additional services. I never thought I would be here and after all, I have a Master’s degree in a needed field and loved working. I worked hard to pay off my student loans that were minimal because I made good choices about tuition and earned amazing scholarships.I am a good example for anyone who believes you just have to try harder and if you are struggling financially, it ,must be your fault. This is simply not true.

    I am confident that through my hustles and creativity, I will find solutions. after all that’s what it means to be fiercely independent! The medical bills, caregiver support, transportation, and unexpected expenses pile up quickly. This doesn’t even include the financial burdens of “wish list” items like mobility devices or other products not covered by insurance.

    I am not here to beg for money or anything like that, just to bring awareness that services for our vulnerable populations needs to be protected. I am not making a political statement at all, just remember that the disabled population is the only group that anyone can join at any time in their life. You never know what curve balls life will throw at you. We are all one accident, one healthcare scare, or aging into becoming disabled. Disability brings a whole new financial challenges I was not prepared for in the least.

    So, what is the solution? For me, it’s a matter of keep hustling. I am determined to meet my financial needs through lots of means. Sponsors, bartering, and even begging are not beneath me at this point. I realize I am lucky, I have a lot of skills to bring to the table and most of the time, I am able to muster up the energy to use them. There are far many more disabled people who aren’t able to do this to the same extent. We all have to rely on our “tribe” the friends and family who meet us where we are despite our difficulties.

  • Fifty Pounds Gone: My Journey of Weight Loss (This Time)!

    I’ve always struggled with my weight. I honestly do not remember a time that I wasn’t overweight, except a brief time that I worked hard to lose a lot of weight and quickly gained it back. I have always lived by the idea that it was better the maintain than to yo-yo back and forth and feel trapped by my weight.

    Fast forward to the last five plus years of chronic high dose steroids, diabetes, and a slew of health issues, my weight ballooned to a ridiculously new high. For the first time, I felt uncomfortable in my own body, my weight impacted everything and definitely did not help my health issues.

    Unlike the last time I made a major effort to lose weight(about 15 years ago), I didn’t seek out a program or system to follow. I was lucky, something found me. My orthopedic’s office signed me up for something called Prescribe FIT. This is a 1-1 program where I was matched with a health coach and complete virtual visits weekly. They also sent me a bluetooth scale that links directly to their incredible app.

    I use the app daily to weigh in, report on goals set, and can even enter water and nutrition daily. My weekly virtual visits with Anna are great, we check in on weekly goals, struggles, and brainstorm new approaches. It’s a good balance between self-sufficiency and ongoing support.

    Today, I reached just past the fifty pound mark and losing 20% of my starting weight in early May! I am also about eighty pounds down from my max, a little over a year ago. I am quickly looking forward to my next short-term goal of being “just” overweight and not obese. I am struggling to find clothes that aren’t too big and that feels wonderful! For the first time in a very long time, I am wearing “regular” sized clothes and not plus sized. Other people are noticing and that too is a great feeling.

    I will continue doing what I am doing, I think i’ve found my stride in this journey. I appreciate the support from Prescribe FIT, my health coach, Anna, my healthcare team, my family/friends, and everyone who is helping cheer me on along the way!

  • Manifesting, Is it Just Good Luck?

    The English language is tough. So many words have various meanings that just don’t make sense. Take the word, manifest or manifesting, for example. Are we talking about a ship/plane’s document, willing something into being, or seeing something differently? It’s a difficult thing to master for sure.

    Back to manifest or manifesting, I’m not sure if its my stubborn personality that has been called bulldog- like, or my never ending patience to see something through, but I believe in the power of manifesting something into being. My father used to comment on my ability to make something happen though nothing sort of pure will and a LOT of hard work.

    When I was in high school (way too long ago), I made a habit of taking classes that I really had no business taking. Mostly AP or honor level classes. I knew that I wasn’t ever going to be an “A” student, so I might as well take the harder classes and work harder for my “B”, or sometimes worse. It was a system that paid off for me in more ways than one. First, I had better teachers, most of which figured out my plan and supported it. Second, I was exposed to better curriculums that required critical thinking. Third, and most importantly, I got some general education credits out of the way to allow me to take a ridiculous course load in college.

    It was during my first AP class, European History, that I earned my title as a Bulldog. I remember it vividly, my teacher sent me a note (a real paper note through the mail) that simply said “A 3!!! You are a Bulldog!!!” The number 3 was my score, it meant that I would get credit for the course in college and throughout the school year it seems that a 3 was WAY out of reach for me. I didn’t know it at the time, but it taught me that I can manifest something into being. It didn’t only take my brain to work, but a lot of hard work and patience.

    And so it went for many more classes. There was honors chemistry where I know the only reason I passed was because I promised my teacher that I would never torture another chem teacher by taking another chemistry class. The joke was on me when I ended up roommates and best buds with a chemistry major!

    Fast forward beyond high school and college. If I set my mind to something, it happened. It was never easy, but I successfully manifested things like becoming a principal, running a half-marathon, attaining enrollment goals, fundraising for specific causes, adding programs, losing (and then gaining) weight. If I put my mind, heart, prayers, and work into making something happen, it did. These were great times.

    Except when it didn’t happen. No amount of hard work, prayers, or manifesting could stop my school from closing or getting sick, or losing my parents. It’s taking me a long time to realize this is where I gained my fuel for manifesting other things into being. The unsuccessful attempts drive me to be more patient, say more prayers, and work harder.

    I am ready for success to happen to me again. I learned to dream and put good thoughts back into the universe. The bulldog is awake! Today, I received positive news on something I am working super hard at manifesting into being- think wet noses. I am calling this the “Why Not Me?” phase/era of my life. (Thank you Kelli Gerardi) Good things can happen to anyone, so why not to me? Some people get the fairy tale endings, why can’t I get it too?

    I’ve learned that luck has nothing to do with manifesting something. It may help, but hard work, prayers, and patience will win every time!