Fiercely Independent Pam

Tag: Catholic Faith

  • Yes, I Have Anxieties and I Know How to Stop Them!

    A plant and hand holding a piece of paper that reads, "Never let your fear decide your fate."

    I found this image on social media and realized I do this all the time. My fears or anxieties win all too often. I am so busy processing the “what ifs” that I never process the actual events and facts. Take today’s drama- my wheelchair is out of commission still and requires over $1000 in parts alone. I, fairly quickly had myself out on the street because I was paying for my wheelchair repairs and would not have enough to make rent. I get “revved” up and just can’t stop the what if thoughts and negative consequences.

    It is definitely true that my anxieties have anxieties. Sometimes I dive down a rabbit hole so deep that I lose connection with almost anything that makes sense. I have gotten so much better about this in recent years, through recognizing early symptoms and practicing grounding techniques such as breathing exercises, prayer, meditation, and most importantly- fact checking. It is NOT a fact that I will be on the street tomorrow!

    Anxiety is a strange force. It sometimes comes out of nowhere and throws you far off your goal. For me, it is the truest example of devilish behavior. The only way I have learned to defeat this behavior is to confront it with my faith. I need to believe in myself, those that love me, and most importantly to my God.

    My Catholic faith has taught me that God will overcome any worries and tribulations. My faith tradition has also taught me some very helpful actions. I have learned to “work my rosary beads” to ground myself. I have a special devotion to Mary Undoer of Knots. The very image of our Mother undoing our anxieties and stressors of life provides so much comfort.

    I am a believer that you should seek help from all areas of life when faced with troubles. I utilize medications to help me get out of the rabbit holes I find myself in all too often. I do not see this as a crutch or the easy way out. I see the medication as a tool, just like my rosary or even the dance party I have privately in my apartment.

    I have learned that it is important to name behaviors as a result of anxiety. You do not have to be ashamed of having these behaviors, it is a force working against you and with time, practice, and faith, you can overcome the force.

    When I made a change in my life a few years ago, I adopted the mantra- “Don’t let the hard days win!” This includes tackling the anxiety monster, the over-thinking, and finding ways out of all the rabbit holes. Utilize the tools you practiced with, pray for help, and remember to check the facts.

  • Rosary In A Year: Finding My Way!

    On January 1, 2025, I started something new. I thought it was just going to be something different, but I never expected it change me the way that it has. I decided to “jump on the train” and complete the “Rosary in A Year with Ascension Press.” This podcast/prayer plan was going to be my way to bring forward my Catholic faith more this calendar year.

    I have written about being a “Cradle Catholic” before and love my faith. I have always loved the prayers of the Most Holy Rosary and my favorite devotion is that of “Mary Undoer of Knots. Like most Catholics, the Rosary is something that is picked up in fervor during tough times and unfortunately forgotten about when needing to make prayers of Thanksgiving.

    So, when I found out about the “Rosary in a Year” program, I was in! I quickly downloaded the prayer guide, subscribed the podcast, and I was “In.” The plan was well thought of, gentle and totally doable. I love the devotion of Fr, Mark-Mary Ames. Through story telling, scripture readings, works or art, saint reflections and more, I have learned so much about the Holy Rosary, Mary, and Jesus. I have grown closer to my faith, the ability to say yes to God, and how to rally my life’s challenges.

    Each morning, I wake up and put the podcast on. I love that I finally have a morning prayer ritual. The timings have always felt just right while working up prayer muscles to a full Rosary. Having led countless Rosaries at school, I never have felt so connected to the prayers, devotions, and meanings behind both. All of this was accomplished “Little By Little” as Fr. Mark-Mary says. It hasn’t been perfect, but I keep coming back to it!

    I also learned how to complete something. So often. we are challenged to try something long term and it just doesn’t work out.We give up and it’s one more unfinished business item. The power of this podcast is that, even when I missed a day or even a week, I could still pick it back up and catch up. I was successful!

    So, if you are new or old to the Rosary, looking for a prayer routine, or just don’t know where to turn, try this out. I promise it’s time well spent.

  • Where Do You Find God When You Have Chronic Illness?

    I am a “cradle Catholic”, meaning I was raised Catholic and continue to practice my faith. I have always been proud to be Catholic and find the traditions, prayers, and consistency key to deepening my faith. Don’t get me wrong, there has been many, many times that I have lost my way or questioned my faith, but somehow I am always drawn back to the Rock-my God.

    I longed to go to Catholic School as a kid, and that longing grew stronger, but it was never in the cards due to financial strains. So, when looking at colleges, I knew I had to give my best effort to attend a Catholic College. It was a goal I set and achieved, I attending the College of Notre Dame of Maryland, now known as Notre Dame of Maryland University. It is a small, liberal arts university that is unique not only in history, but in its Catholic faith. I found that my desire to teach came directly from God, a calling from Him to reach His children.

    I also found a wonderful group of sisters, mostly School Sisters of Notre Dame (SSND), who inspired me on my journey to become my best self, as a woman, as well as a teacher. I was challenged to take more leadership roles and consider the life of an administrator. God called to me through the SSND’s in a way I was not prepared for. Their caring and thoughtful mentorship and teaching, showed me another way of life. That is that I did not need to be the richest or most powerful, but that I needed only to fulfill the desire of God’s plan for me.

    I became the teacher I wanted to be and aimed to be the administrator that I was called to be, but all this ended in a big way when chronic illness took over my life. At first, my mental health took a downward spiral, forcing me to move to be closer to family. Then, my physical health, including brain surgery, frequent asthma attacks, and a growing list of problems forced me out of education all together. I often questioned why God has chosen this path for me.

    It wasn’t until I mourned the passing of both my parents, that I realized God wasn’t doing anything against me, but for me. I wouldn’t have traded the times I had with my parents last years, months, and hours for anything. These memories will forever live in my heart.

    The same holds true with chronic illness and my relationship with God, hindsight shows me that God was trying to tell/teach me something, but my stubbornness gets in the way sometimes.

    I am not one who likes to give advice, but please know that God is always working through you. You may feel like he is a million miles away, but somehow, someway he is working through you.