“You have such a good attitude” or “You aways are positive,” etc. I am a big believer in faking it until you make it! I am not always feeling positive or feel like smiling, but it’s so much easier to fake feeling good than to own up to feeling lousy. Nobody wants to be around someone who is feeling lousy or cranky. I like to be around people and not alone, therefore it’s in my best interest to try to stay positive and smile through the chaos. I’ve tried the “pity parties” and they frankly are not fun. I do believe its important to reflect and acknowledge how much is going on, but then its time to move on.
Chronic illness is no joke- the stress of realizing you are never going to get better is exhausting. And explaining that to others is such a hard thing to do. Everyone wants to say “feel better soon” or You’ll be back to your old self soon.” This is just not true and sometimes it’s just not worth the energy to correct people, even close friends or family. So what do you say? How do you tell those around you that something else is wrong?
Then there is the never ending suggestions of everything from yoga (which I love, but isn’t going to fix me), oils, diets, and everything in between. I’ve spent more money than I chose to say on various fixes, only to be disappointed. I love you, and I promise I am doing everything I can to feel better, but your latest google searches or ideas aren’t super helpful all the time.
What can you do to help? Listen to me, ask me what I might need, stop by unannounced, distract me with your wonderful news, support my decisions, pretend everything is ok, and most importantly, try not to ignore or hide out from me. I know I am A LOT- I promise, I would change if I could.
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