Fiercely Independent Pam

Category: About Me

  • Financial Woes: Being Disabled is Expensive

    Having a small “pity party” for myself. I’ll get over it before I even publish this post, but like anything else, I know the best thing I can do is get these feelings out. A year ago, I was faced smack in the face with one of the biggest surprises of my life. I was being “tossed out” of my community. On paper this was due to my medical needs being more than they could meet, however I was not asking them to meet them. The actuality was that I was too aware of their missteps and failures for myself and other residents. In hindsight, the move to my current community was the best thing that could have ever happened to me! The process of moving and settling in was quick and somewhat painless, but it came at a cost- a financial cost that I never quite recovered from.

    Fast forward to today and I continue to struggle to stretch my social security payment as much as possible. I do not qualify for any extra help, because ironically I worked so much, my social security payment is just over the poverty line to be able to qualify for additional services. I never thought I would be here and after all, I have a Master’s degree in a needed field and loved working. I worked hard to pay off my student loans that were minimal because I made good choices about tuition and earned amazing scholarships.I am a good example for anyone who believes you just have to try harder and if you are struggling financially, it ,must be your fault. This is simply not true.

    I am confident that through my hustles and creativity, I will find solutions. after all that’s what it means to be fiercely independent! The medical bills, caregiver support, transportation, and unexpected expenses pile up quickly. This doesn’t even include the financial burdens of “wish list” items like mobility devices or other products not covered by insurance.

    I am not here to beg for money or anything like that, just to bring awareness that services for our vulnerable populations needs to be protected. I am not making a political statement at all, just remember that the disabled population is the only group that anyone can join at any time in their life. You never know what curve balls life will throw at you. We are all one accident, one healthcare scare, or aging into becoming disabled. Disability brings a whole new financial challenges I was not prepared for in the least.

    So, what is the solution? For me, it’s a matter of keep hustling. I am determined to meet my financial needs through lots of means. Sponsors, bartering, and even begging are not beneath me at this point. I realize I am lucky, I have a lot of skills to bring to the table and most of the time, I am able to muster up the energy to use them. There are far many more disabled people who aren’t able to do this to the same extent. We all have to rely on our “tribe” the friends and family who meet us where we are despite our difficulties.

  • Do Your “Fancy” Clothes Hold Memories?

    Recently, I emptied a wardrobe box from my storage unit. I was hoping to find a treasure chest of clothes that would fit my current size, but instead I found a box full of memories in the form of “fancy” clothes. To be fair, I packed this box over eight years ago, so I really couldn’t remember what was in it. As I opened each outfit, mostly dresses for “fancy” outings or events, I recalled memories attached to each item.

    In my past life as a principal, I attended several functions a year that I would consider “fancy.” There was always graduation, something that I believed always required tasteful, professional attire and loved to shop for something new each year. Some of the dresses were from graduations. Other dresses were from gala’s attended or other society type fundraisers. And then there were the specific event pieces. My favorite was my white and black dress suit that I bought for the closing Mass at my first school. I loved that outfit and it was perfect for the event. Tasteful, elegant, and it stood out; showing others that I was not afraid of what was to come, but still honoring the past. There was also the suit set that I purchased and wore for my first national speaking gig.

    Then there were the dresses yet to be worn, just hanging there, in a way that asked, “What happened?’ I always picked up dresses that were on sale that would fit my needs so that I was never in a panic to find something last minute. Still, these unworn dresses reminded me that the life I had came to a suddent stop. There weren’t anymore graduations to lead or Masses to attend, or Gala’s.

    Instead of hitting me like a ton of bricks and catapulting me backwards into darkness, I found amusement in the fact that my current wardrobe is reminiscent of my college times and I no longer fight to get into Spanx just to be able to zip up a ‘fancy” dress for an event. The fanciest I get these days is a sweater with a pair of jeans. As much as I miss the excitement of the events I would wear these dresses to, I do not miss the stress of it all. I much prefer my jeans, shorts, and t-shirts to these dresses.

    Now the question is “What do I do with these dresses?” I want to keep the classics that can be worn regardless of trends because weddings happen, I hope to attend a fundraiser or two for organizations I believe in, and most importantly, money is tighter than ever and I am no longer in a place to afford such nice clothes. I am going to have them all dry-cleaned and then decide what I can donate and to where. I want to do that purposely. That is, I want these statement pieces to live on and promote someone’s independence. For my blue ball gown I hope it finds a home in theatre. As for my awesome dress suit, I may just have to hold on to it a little bit longer.

    As I side note, I could only take myself so seriously when going through this wardrobe box because apparently plastic dry-cleaning bags begin to disintegrate after time and make tiny pieces of clear plastic “snow” EVERYWHERE!! My apartment looked like a snow globe. It was so bad that I even broke out my own vacuum and pretended I had the energy to clean up. Luckily, I had some wonderful help in that area!

    How do you give life to your collection of “fancy” clothes? Do you hold on to them just for the sake of memories or just in case you might need them? What kind of charities could use this type of clothing? Please help me out!

    An Example of some “fancy clothes.” Presenting in Orlando at a National Conference!

  • Fifty Pounds Gone: My Journey of Weight Loss (This Time)!

    I’ve always struggled with my weight. I honestly do not remember a time that I wasn’t overweight, except a brief time that I worked hard to lose a lot of weight and quickly gained it back. I have always lived by the idea that it was better the maintain than to yo-yo back and forth and feel trapped by my weight.

    Fast forward to the last five plus years of chronic high dose steroids, diabetes, and a slew of health issues, my weight ballooned to a ridiculously new high. For the first time, I felt uncomfortable in my own body, my weight impacted everything and definitely did not help my health issues.

    Unlike the last time I made a major effort to lose weight(about 15 years ago), I didn’t seek out a program or system to follow. I was lucky, something found me. My orthopedic’s office signed me up for something called Prescribe FIT. This is a 1-1 program where I was matched with a health coach and complete virtual visits weekly. They also sent me a bluetooth scale that links directly to their incredible app.

    I use the app daily to weigh in, report on goals set, and can even enter water and nutrition daily. My weekly virtual visits with Anna are great, we check in on weekly goals, struggles, and brainstorm new approaches. It’s a good balance between self-sufficiency and ongoing support.

    Today, I reached just past the fifty pound mark and losing 20% of my starting weight in early May! I am also about eighty pounds down from my max, a little over a year ago. I am quickly looking forward to my next short-term goal of being “just” overweight and not obese. I am struggling to find clothes that aren’t too big and that feels wonderful! For the first time in a very long time, I am wearing “regular” sized clothes and not plus sized. Other people are noticing and that too is a great feeling.

    I will continue doing what I am doing, I think i’ve found my stride in this journey. I appreciate the support from Prescribe FIT, my health coach, Anna, my healthcare team, my family/friends, and everyone who is helping cheer me on along the way!