Fiercely Independent Pam

Category: Mental Health

  • Frustration: What it is and How I’m Dealing with It!

    Frustration… it gets the best of me at times. I try to do things and get tangled in the oxygen line or forget the transfer board and have to go back and get it. These are little things but they sure do add up to frustration level, and then you blow!

    I have such amazing caregivers who do not deserve to even see my frustration never mind the anger that comes with it. But nevertheless it happens. Everything takes so long when you are only using transfer boards. You would think it’s the ultimate motivation to stand.

    With the weekend coming, I don’t have any therapies so it’s up to me to keep exercises going to get stronger. I am by myself a lot which means I only torture myself with frustration. Flexibility and strength in my legs is getting better which are key ingredients to standing up.

    I also finished my Medicaid application, which was a big feat and a cause of major frustration.

    So, I continue to exercise in order to stand up with PT/OT this week. I will ignore the frustration, and always hope for the best!

  • Feeling Stronger and Making the Transfer I Need to be Making- Just Need More Therapy.

    I am getting so much stronger on transfer and just moving about. I am frustrated because I’m not getting the therapy I need. I’m not going to get stronger without therapy.

    In the meantime I continue to transfer successfully. I may even try something different today- getting my nails done. It’s all a matter if I want to sit on my bottom for all that time.

    Besides being frustrated over not getting the therapy I so desperately need, I am doing great, especially with transfers.! I have a mental health therapy session today, which I am looking forward to, as she is wonderful to talk to.

    That is about all that is going on, I will continue to work on my transfers.

  • Wrapping My Head Around The Idea That I’m Not Going to Be Dropped and Break My Leg Again: I Can Stand!

    I have a mental break that I am going to fall and break my leg again. I am trying so hard to get over it, but it is still there- past trauma rears its ugly head at the worst possible times. I want nothing more than to stand up and have the strength to stay there and take a few steps. This is mission critical to be able to stand and walk again. I know I play the role of someone who is tough and able to handle so much, but when my brain plays tricks on me it’s so much harder. When I was in Florida and learning to walk again, I had an unfortunate incident where I was dropped by a staff member and broke my leg.

    Then in October, I had my accident with getting run over by a car and breaking my leg once more. So, I am struggling with my confidence to say the least. All of this coupled with getting stuck in a few bathrooms and needing the fire department to lift me out of some bizarre situations, has left me more than vulnerable. It does amaze me that I am not embarrassed but just need to do what needs to be done!

    I am so fortunate that I had amazing primary care from Your Health- Lindsey was able to work magic and get me registered here at Encompass, which is exactly where I am supposed to be. I am willing to spend as much time as possible to get this right, even if it means rescheduling important appointments down at MUSC.

    I’ve also been dealing with crazy bloody noses again. It seems that I just keep dripping blood and trying not to make a mess. I appreciate that they are giving me full size tissue boxes and tissues instead of the little packages. I will eventually get back to the ENT and figure out how to control this! It seems that trying to stand also makes my nose bleed.

    I will try again maybe today, but definitely tomorrow. I know I can stand and take a few steps. I am also trying to keep track of my weight, which is hard to do, but I’ve managed to step up on the “kitchen scale” each day. I am gaining weight, instead of losing, but considering the experience, I am ok with that.

    I totally miss my electric wheelchair and all the freedom it brings me. I look forward to getting home and using it again. I feel like learned a lot about it and how it can help me out in even bigger ways.