Fiercely Independent Pam

Author: Pamela

  • Wrapping My Head Around The Idea That I’m Not Going to Be Dropped and Break My Leg Again: I Can Stand!

    I have a mental break that I am going to fall and break my leg again. I am trying so hard to get over it, but it is still there- past trauma rears its ugly head at the worst possible times. I want nothing more than to stand up and have the strength to stay there and take a few steps. This is mission critical to be able to stand and walk again. I know I play the role of someone who is tough and able to handle so much, but when my brain plays tricks on me it’s so much harder. When I was in Florida and learning to walk again, I had an unfortunate incident where I was dropped by a staff member and broke my leg.

    Then in October, I had my accident with getting run over by a car and breaking my leg once more. So, I am struggling with my confidence to say the least. All of this coupled with getting stuck in a few bathrooms and needing the fire department to lift me out of some bizarre situations, has left me more than vulnerable. It does amaze me that I am not embarrassed but just need to do what needs to be done!

    I am so fortunate that I had amazing primary care from Your Health- Lindsey was able to work magic and get me registered here at Encompass, which is exactly where I am supposed to be. I am willing to spend as much time as possible to get this right, even if it means rescheduling important appointments down at MUSC.

    I’ve also been dealing with crazy bloody noses again. It seems that I just keep dripping blood and trying not to make a mess. I appreciate that they are giving me full size tissue boxes and tissues instead of the little packages. I will eventually get back to the ENT and figure out how to control this! It seems that trying to stand also makes my nose bleed.

    I will try again maybe today, but definitely tomorrow. I know I can stand and take a few steps. I am also trying to keep track of my weight, which is hard to do, but I’ve managed to step up on the “kitchen scale” each day. I am gaining weight, instead of losing, but considering the experience, I am ok with that.

    I totally miss my electric wheelchair and all the freedom it brings me. I look forward to getting home and using it again. I feel like learned a lot about it and how it can help me out in even bigger ways.

  • The Hard Work Begins Today: A First Day of Inpatient Rehab!

    So it begins.. I arrived at inpatient rehab yesterday after a few delays mostly because of the weather (crazy snow storm!) I ended up paying for transportation and it was a good decision since I am still having problems standing up and transferring.

    I was beyond welcomed by the staff here for rehab and they have been wonderful! I am confident that I forgot a few things, but hopefully I can have some help from my family. I am super excited to start working hard- I will receive at least 3 hours of pt/ot each day, which is exactly what I need. Right now I am finishing my Bible in a Year Podcast, which is nice to be able to stay up on.

    I am looking forward to unpacking my stuff and setting up for rehab, as I packed up pretty decently including lots of pants and t-shirts, but missing catheters and a watch charger! All in good time! For my first night I am wearing my special Buckee’s pjs that I picked up when I was there for my interview. It was a fun nod to what I have accomplished already.

    I think I have said this before, but wanted to update people about the progress of the service dog. In addition to the service dog, I am continuing with rehab. The next steps is to have a site visit here at my apartment and they will also be bringing a dog to help me demonstrate some skills, hopefully at the grocery store. This should be taking place after the committee meets- around late March/ Early April. I am thankful that they are willing to come here. From there, the next steps would be to be accepted as a formal client and begin fundraising for team training and similar. Then begins the “Fun” part!- Something special PAALS calls “Speed Dating” where we make sure the right connection is made between a dog and the “handler.” Eventually, team training will take place, but this is a far way off. All of this is super exciting!

    In the meantime, I will be working hard at standing and completing rehab goals. I am not sure exactly what it means to finish my antibiotics and future doctor’s appointments, but I moved as many appointments as possible. Time to track down what I am missing!

  • Dreaming of Wet Noses Again… Gaining Strength and Making it Happen…

    Well it was bound to happen… I made a giant leap and ordered my first new pet product. It’s a smart collar that is almost like a fitbit for a dog. I was excited to do so and being then”gadget queen” I just knew it was a good purchase. But now I wait. PAALS is accomplishing amazing things, with this, being their 20th year. I am excited to hopefully attaining/befriending my service dog this year.

    I have learned a lot more about the process that PAALS uses to place service dogs with clients and am very ready to take on training, fundraising, and the hard work that is needed to build a bond between dog and handler.

    I spend a lot of time dreaming about a service dog and all it will be able to do for me. I think of dropped items, holding doors, accessing areas of the grocery store that I can’t access now. And the biggest thing- companionship- I long for sharing my bed with a sloppy, lovable beast of sorts. It’s been a long time since my dear Sofi was able to come into bed with me, but I remember it well, and it felt so perfect.

    Next steps include a site visit that will be combined with a community visit. PAALS is going to bring a service dog to help me negotiate the grocery store and gain some skills with cues. I so appreciate their willingness to help with transportation since the beach and Columbia is not the closest. It looks like this visit is going to take place in either March or April.

    I am also enthusiastic about the training process. I love learning new things and processes. Learning cues, signals, and directions are right up my alley. I am looking forward to daily training exercises and getting outside for walks several times a day.

    October is the big deadline. My 25th College Reunion is in October in Baltimore. I am so looking forward to seeing my friends, and having my service dog and making the big travel plans by flying to Baltimore. I missed my 20th reunion because my dad was dying so being on campus is even more important to me. It sounds like its a long shot to have my dog in time for reunion, but patience is the name of of the game and I will demonstrate that the quality of the process is more important than than the timing.